“我不想再想了。想了也没用，只有自己痛苦。我可以自己决定放弃吗？我不知道对方的感觉，我也不敢问。我开始怀疑我自己这是真的吗？他并不是我理想中的另一伴，但我的心却为他加速跳动，我的脸为他脸红。每一次约会都很紧张，单独还是跟一群朋友。我怎么了？“他不适合啦！”我心里这么想着。但，我却没有办法不去理他。我想不看，不听他的声音，不回他的简讯。。。但，这些我都做不到。我心很累，不想再一次的没有结果的等待。这次会成功吗？
还是我放弃。。。？心里好似矛盾。。。该放弃还是不放弃？”
“无谓的等待让我很累，也对爱情失去了信心与渴望。。。”
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
"The Proposal"
Just watched "The Proposal". I think it is quite a good show. I have enjoyed it. Very interesting. Very sweet. It is always the words said from the heart that is so touching. It is a movie though. But, I really love it. It makes me feel like "falling in love"! hahaha... :P Nice lines! Incredible! I wonder how will my future husband propose to me... haha.... If it is not romantic enough, I may say "no"... hahaha... :P
Friday, November 13, 2009
According To You
Simply Love It! Frankly speaking, I was attracted to her hairstyle first! hahaha... :P
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
我恨我愛你
Though I'm not falling out of love now, but I feel this is similar to what I'm feeling now. Wierd, isn't it? Though it's a sad song but I love it very much! :)
Sometimes, I feel loving someone too much will eventually makes you hate yourself for being like that as you are not being reciprocated for your love. Somehow, you'll feel hurt...
Here it goes, "我恨我愛你":
面带微笑离开你怀里
我听天由命
最后一张王牌在手里
二选一的机率
不能放纵爱你
就放过自己
爱情已经过了甜蜜期
多说也是无益
爱不爱我已经没关系
一点小伤而已
你可以很放心
我不会为了留你
假装可怜兮兮
都怪我 太不争气
我恨我爱你
Oh~ 我爱你
只是因为你是你
Oh~ 我恨你
你有我看也看不清的小聪明
你有我说也说不完的坏脾气
你有我数也数不尽你的…
.新恋情
爱情已经过了甜蜜期
多说也是无益
爱不爱我已经没关系
一点小伤而已
你可以很放心
我不会为了留你
假装可怜兮兮
都怪我 太不争气
我恨我爱你
Oh~ 我爱你
只是因为你是你
Oh~ 我恨你
你有我看也看不清的小聪明
你有我说也说不完的坏脾气
你有我数也数不尽你的…
.新恋情
没关系…
我有你拿也拿不走的旧回忆
我可以一个人安静的忘记你
我恨你最后那一句
我爱你
To listen to this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCiOKXBhAOM
Sometimes, I feel loving someone too much will eventually makes you hate yourself for being like that as you are not being reciprocated for your love. Somehow, you'll feel hurt...
Here it goes, "我恨我愛你":
面带微笑离开你怀里
我听天由命
最后一张王牌在手里
二选一的机率
不能放纵爱你
就放过自己
爱情已经过了甜蜜期
多说也是无益
爱不爱我已经没关系
一点小伤而已
你可以很放心
我不会为了留你
假装可怜兮兮
都怪我 太不争气
我恨我爱你
Oh~ 我爱你
只是因为你是你
Oh~ 我恨你
你有我看也看不清的小聪明
你有我说也说不完的坏脾气
你有我数也数不尽你的…
.新恋情
爱情已经过了甜蜜期
多说也是无益
爱不爱我已经没关系
一点小伤而已
你可以很放心
我不会为了留你
假装可怜兮兮
都怪我 太不争气
我恨我爱你
Oh~ 我爱你
只是因为你是你
Oh~ 我恨你
你有我看也看不清的小聪明
你有我说也说不完的坏脾气
你有我数也数不尽你的…
.新恋情
没关系…
我有你拿也拿不走的旧回忆
我可以一个人安静的忘记你
我恨你最后那一句
我爱你
To listen to this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCiOKXBhAOM
Saturday, October 31, 2009
This Is It
"This is it! I'm not going to hold on to it anymore! Off you go..."
Having too many thoughts in mind can sometimes burst me up. Therefore, at times, I decide to give up some of the things in life. Those that I feel there's no point wasting my time on and I have to move on without it. I believe that God will provide the best for me. So, what for to worry about? May be after giving up on certain things, I'll gain much more? I may see something coming up that will shock me? Lotz of may be but full of expectations...
Busy... I shall keep myself busy for the time being. There're just so many things I want to do! :) "The best thing is I'm doing the things I enjoy doing!" -Thank God for that!!! :)
Having too many thoughts in mind can sometimes burst me up. Therefore, at times, I decide to give up some of the things in life. Those that I feel there's no point wasting my time on and I have to move on without it. I believe that God will provide the best for me. So, what for to worry about? May be after giving up on certain things, I'll gain much more? I may see something coming up that will shock me? Lotz of may be but full of expectations...
Busy... I shall keep myself busy for the time being. There're just so many things I want to do! :) "The best thing is I'm doing the things I enjoy doing!" -Thank God for that!!! :)
Monday, October 19, 2009
心情事簿
郁闷的心情把心里的所有的寂寞给表露了出来。
为什么呢？也许我怕别人知道我的寂寞吧。
是嫉妒还是羡慕？我不懂。我清楚地知道我要的是什么。
我也很清楚地知道眼前的并不是我要的。那，那有什么好难过得呢？
是太羡慕了吧？我知道十二月是没有什么好期盼什么事会发生。因为我知道两年前没有发生的事，大概这次也不例外吧。没有什么好期盼的。有时我在想，一个人安安静静地度过生日也并不是什么坏事。有时，人多了，会有点难过。那样，会更凸显心里头的寂寞。但，有时候，我却又不想一个人过。多么矛盾的心情阿！
今年的生日，我只想知道一个答案。上帝，你会在这个十二月给我这个我很在乎的答案吗？
生日是一件大事，是你活在这世界上的纪念日。我希望今年起码要有人真正知道我要的是什么吧。有时候，我是感激有人记得我的生日。有时候，我却会有点失落或失望。可能当中真的缺乏了什么吧。
今年的生日，我只需要一个答案就够了。亲爱的天父，你会给我一个答案吗？这个答案对我来说很重要，关系到我的生命那样重要。
有些东西我是看到了，但我选择了不去看它。因为我知道那并不是我要的。我绝对不能送出错的讯息，浪费了大家的时间。
什么乘读书的时候，在学校里多留意一下有什么和心意的。什么读书之于，也可以找一下。
再说吧。我还是好好地念我的书。我可是下定决心要好好地念书的！加油！
为什么呢？也许我怕别人知道我的寂寞吧。
是嫉妒还是羡慕？我不懂。我清楚地知道我要的是什么。
我也很清楚地知道眼前的并不是我要的。那，那有什么好难过得呢？
是太羡慕了吧？我知道十二月是没有什么好期盼什么事会发生。因为我知道两年前没有发生的事，大概这次也不例外吧。没有什么好期盼的。有时我在想，一个人安安静静地度过生日也并不是什么坏事。有时，人多了，会有点难过。那样，会更凸显心里头的寂寞。但，有时候，我却又不想一个人过。多么矛盾的心情阿！
今年的生日，我只想知道一个答案。上帝，你会在这个十二月给我这个我很在乎的答案吗？
生日是一件大事，是你活在这世界上的纪念日。我希望今年起码要有人真正知道我要的是什么吧。有时候，我是感激有人记得我的生日。有时候，我却会有点失落或失望。可能当中真的缺乏了什么吧。
今年的生日，我只需要一个答案就够了。亲爱的天父，你会给我一个答案吗？这个答案对我来说很重要，关系到我的生命那样重要。
有些东西我是看到了，但我选择了不去看它。因为我知道那并不是我要的。我绝对不能送出错的讯息，浪费了大家的时间。
什么乘读书的时候，在学校里多留意一下有什么和心意的。什么读书之于，也可以找一下。
再说吧。我还是好好地念我的书。我可是下定决心要好好地念书的！加油！
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
A Final Relief
Finally, I have finished my last TMA assignment!!! Oh Yeah.................................!!!!!!
Do you know what a big relief it is? I have been stressed over the assignments upon assignments for the past one month. Especially for this month, everything is very rushed. There are just so many things to rush for. Now, I just finished the last TMA, I still have ECA assignment, 5 quizes and 1 exam to clear before my semester ends. It is really not easy studying in the university. It is just so tough. No wonder there are some people say that it is not easy to be in the university. If you are in, you are real good! Wow! I want to be that "real good"! :D
I really love, love, love all my friends especially the "regulars" who commented on my facebook very often. I so appreciated all that you guys had responded or commented and all your encouragements! Thanks for standing with me, supporting me mentally! Thanks lotz! :D
What's next now? I wanna rest for a little while before I clear the rest of the stuffs before my semester ends. Jia you! Fighting! :DDDD
Do you know what a big relief it is? I have been stressed over the assignments upon assignments for the past one month. Especially for this month, everything is very rushed. There are just so many things to rush for. Now, I just finished the last TMA, I still have ECA assignment, 5 quizes and 1 exam to clear before my semester ends. It is really not easy studying in the university. It is just so tough. No wonder there are some people say that it is not easy to be in the university. If you are in, you are real good! Wow! I want to be that "real good"! :D
I really love, love, love all my friends especially the "regulars" who commented on my facebook very often. I so appreciated all that you guys had responded or commented and all your encouragements! Thanks for standing with me, supporting me mentally! Thanks lotz! :D
What's next now? I wanna rest for a little while before I clear the rest of the stuffs before my semester ends. Jia you! Fighting! :DDDD
Thursday, October 8, 2009
REpeat
Do you ever hate yourself for keep repeating the same mistake again? I have. It is just so irritating. I will keep wondering to myself why I keep doing it again and again and why I can’t change it once and for all. Many thoughts run through my minds causing a lot of frustrations in me. How do we change? How do we quit on our mistake and shortcomings?
“I’m late again!” “Ah, the same mistake again!” “I spoke the wrong thing again!” Do all these sounds familiar to you. The moment you speak out these sentences, condemnation, guilty, negative thoughts and etc. come to you all at once! This is simply unhealthy (psychologically)! But, instead of all these, what can we do to improve the situation? Do something!
We are to be convicted and willing to commit to do something about it. A plan must be drawn out and follow closely. Modify here and there as we go along. Write down what is to do when the expectation is not met. What is the Plan B? I believe the best guide is the “S.M.A.R.T.E.R.” goal card. Nothing is as clear as that. Let’s begin to pick up our pen again to plan for next year before this year end. Don’t wait, do it now! Or else, you’ll never do it! One thing is “Never Give Up!” You just have to persevere.
Different people have different way of executing the plans. I don’t know about you but for me, I need to see my goals “everywhere” in order for me to work it out. That’s mean papers pasting everywhere in my room! (Laughing) Let’s start planning once again, friends! Let’s do it together! :D
“I’m late again!” “Ah, the same mistake again!” “I spoke the wrong thing again!” Do all these sounds familiar to you. The moment you speak out these sentences, condemnation, guilty, negative thoughts and etc. come to you all at once! This is simply unhealthy (psychologically)! But, instead of all these, what can we do to improve the situation? Do something!
We are to be convicted and willing to commit to do something about it. A plan must be drawn out and follow closely. Modify here and there as we go along. Write down what is to do when the expectation is not met. What is the Plan B? I believe the best guide is the “S.M.A.R.T.E.R.” goal card. Nothing is as clear as that. Let’s begin to pick up our pen again to plan for next year before this year end. Don’t wait, do it now! Or else, you’ll never do it! One thing is “Never Give Up!” You just have to persevere.
Different people have different way of executing the plans. I don’t know about you but for me, I need to see my goals “everywhere” in order for me to work it out. That’s mean papers pasting everywhere in my room! (Laughing) Let’s start planning once again, friends! Let’s do it together! :D
Friday, October 2, 2009
A Passby Place
This is just a place I have to passby in order to reach the other end which is where I suppose to go. In another words, it is a bridge to my destiny. Throughout the past more than one year, I have learnt some things. For example, now I know how to use excel and simply love it! That is my greatest satisfaction I think. I have known friends in the workplace. Though I don’t really like some part of them, sometimes even don’t feel that I’m getting along well with them, but still, they have played a part in my life. I can’t change a person anyway. If people don’t want to change, there’s nothing you can do.
I’m wondering what is ahead of me. I’m full of expectation and visions about my future. It’s going to be a bright, bright future being a professional counselor! The first semester of the first year is about to end. I have finally got to know about counseling. It is not easy but yet, very exciting. I like the way how my tutor-lecturer said this “A Counselor has his very own unique language.” It makes me feel that as a counselor, we are different and we make a difference in people’s life. This motivates me a lot.
In the coming semester, it’ll be tougher and busier I suppose. Hopefully, I can take the core subject which I didn’t take this semester, together with the next semester core subject. I don’t think I want to drag my graduation. The best situation is to complete my degree in three years and continue at the fourth year for my degree honours. To achieve that, I need to work real hard. My aim is to score above grade 3.0. I think I’ll be safe if I can hit that target. Most important of all, I must catch something out of this whole course to equip myself well to be an effective counselor. “Fighting”, Christina!
*You may not understand what I’m writing especially at the beginning of this blog as some details can’t be added in here. Just treat that I’m speaking in parables. Haha… :P
I’m wondering what is ahead of me. I’m full of expectation and visions about my future. It’s going to be a bright, bright future being a professional counselor! The first semester of the first year is about to end. I have finally got to know about counseling. It is not easy but yet, very exciting. I like the way how my tutor-lecturer said this “A Counselor has his very own unique language.” It makes me feel that as a counselor, we are different and we make a difference in people’s life. This motivates me a lot.
In the coming semester, it’ll be tougher and busier I suppose. Hopefully, I can take the core subject which I didn’t take this semester, together with the next semester core subject. I don’t think I want to drag my graduation. The best situation is to complete my degree in three years and continue at the fourth year for my degree honours. To achieve that, I need to work real hard. My aim is to score above grade 3.0. I think I’ll be safe if I can hit that target. Most important of all, I must catch something out of this whole course to equip myself well to be an effective counselor. “Fighting”, Christina!
*You may not understand what I’m writing especially at the beginning of this blog as some details can’t be added in here. Just treat that I’m speaking in parables. Haha… :P
石欣卉 昨天
当我第一次听这首歌的时候，我几乎要哭了。它带给了我很多的回忆。歌词里写的感觉是那么的熟悉。这是石欣卉的故事吗？这首歌好痛哦。听得我都觉得心好痛。似乎在耳边，我能听见自己叫着自己“忘了过去吧。”就好像心里有一根刺插得很深，无法拔出。
（脑里不自觉地浮现出这些感想）“总以为不见面，就会没事。那知道心会更痛。想要放下，却放不下。就一直爱着没有回应的爱。无论多么想跟他说个什么，却总是说不出口。只能远远地看着他。我爱他的心情谁懂。紧紧地抓着一个没有结果的爱情。多么辛苦阿。这种心情谁懂。” 听着这首歌，想着过去，眼眶里便出现了泪水。我非常了解这种心情。我曾爱着别人无数次，但全都没有结果。爱得我也累了，毕竟已伤痕累累了。若要期盼着新的恋情，我不知道我会不会有信心。
有时，回忆起以前，我的心会觉得很空，很寂寞。我不明白为什么我期待的爱情总是不降临在我身上。是我不配的吗？我曾经这么想过。直到有一天，一个人告诉我这么一句话“你绝对是配得有一个很好的男人。你是一个好女孩。”虽然那时，说这句话的那个人正在拒绝我对他的爱恋，但，我却被这句话给感动至今。我感激他说了那么一句话。现在的我们是朋友，对我来说已足够了。我会找到那个配得我爱的那个人。我会幸福的。谢谢当初的你。我会幸福的。
以上是我有感而发所写出来的。甭担心我。那些已是过去式。现在的我很好，正等着命中注定的那个人出现。等待的时间里，我会努力准备好自己。一切担心与着急是没有必要的。就请周围的朋友与家人，别为我担心了。顺起自然就好。
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Too Many In Life, But Limited
Just went through the songs for next year vocal exam, hrs ago with my vocal teacher. Learnt something new about how to bring out the song. It is not that easy as I had thought in the past. So many to learn, but yet limited time as I'm occupied with many things in my life. Nevertheless, I'll never give up on singing! May be it is also to make up for the unability to dance now.
It's just can't help it. There are just too many things that we want to do in life but yet, limited time and resources. Therefore, what I can do now is just to choose some of them to do. It is never anything perfect in life. You can't have everything at one time. That's life. But still, I thank God for what I'm doing now. I thank God for all the opportunities that are given to me! Thank God! :D It is such a priviledge as not everyone can have what I'm having now. It is simply a great priviledge that I must cherish! I believe this is really a calling for me. I'll do my best no matter how weak I seem to be at times. Jia you! :D
It's just can't help it. There are just too many things that we want to do in life but yet, limited time and resources. Therefore, what I can do now is just to choose some of them to do. It is never anything perfect in life. You can't have everything at one time. That's life. But still, I thank God for what I'm doing now. I thank God for all the opportunities that are given to me! Thank God! :D It is such a priviledge as not everyone can have what I'm having now. It is simply a great priviledge that I must cherish! I believe this is really a calling for me. I'll do my best no matter how weak I seem to be at times. Jia you! :D
Saturday, September 26, 2009
很高兴遇见你
“在认识你之后，就希望你能幸福。希望你能一直带着笑容活着。希望你能梦想成真。就算我们不能再一起，我也希望你能过得很好。就算将来你的身边站着别的女生，我也会祝福着你的。我只会默默地看着，默默地希望你好。别人会笑我傻，笑我痴。这些我都不会在乎。我只在乎你。”
或许是我想象力很丰富，我对爱情的要求会很高。对我来说，爱情绝对不能是闷的。我无法容忍“闷”。我渴望爱情里的浪漫与惊喜。不一定每天都要有，但绝对不能没有。
当我喜欢一个人后，我会很想多跟他在一起，说话聊天，吃饭等等。因为我想多了解他。也希望能够得到他的回爱吧。如果不能所愿，我会默默地喜欢着他直到我不能为止。如果他找到了他的幸福，我会祝福着他。我绝对不是那种会跟别人抢男人的女人。如果有人要争，就让她们去争吧。我没有兴趣。我认为一切顺其自然就好。我认为爱情是自然的，是慢慢培养出来的。争夺的爱情会幸福吗？争夺有意义吗？
曾经有人对我说，如果我真的爱那个人，为什么不要去争呢. 对于这点, 我实在无法认同. 或许, 我比较想要男生主动一点吧.
别再问我的择偶条件是什么了. 我正在等着我的命中注定. 希望能像我所祈祷的那样实现. 我能知道答案吗?
"认识你是我这辈子最幸福的事."
*以上的, 若有雷同, 纯属巧合.*
或许是我想象力很丰富，我对爱情的要求会很高。对我来说，爱情绝对不能是闷的。我无法容忍“闷”。我渴望爱情里的浪漫与惊喜。不一定每天都要有，但绝对不能没有。
当我喜欢一个人后，我会很想多跟他在一起，说话聊天，吃饭等等。因为我想多了解他。也希望能够得到他的回爱吧。如果不能所愿，我会默默地喜欢着他直到我不能为止。如果他找到了他的幸福，我会祝福着他。我绝对不是那种会跟别人抢男人的女人。如果有人要争，就让她们去争吧。我没有兴趣。我认为一切顺其自然就好。我认为爱情是自然的，是慢慢培养出来的。争夺的爱情会幸福吗？争夺有意义吗？
曾经有人对我说，如果我真的爱那个人，为什么不要去争呢. 对于这点, 我实在无法认同. 或许, 我比较想要男生主动一点吧.
别再问我的择偶条件是什么了. 我正在等着我的命中注定. 希望能像我所祈祷的那样实现. 我能知道答案吗?
"认识你是我这辈子最幸福的事."
*以上的, 若有雷同, 纯属巧合.*
Thursday, September 10, 2009
恨你不在我身旁
恨你不在我身旁
每每这一个时刻，我都会想起你。
但，你却不在我身旁
每一次，我在梦中叫你的名字，
但，你却不回应。
每一次，我伸出手向你求助，
但， 你却不理睬。
当我寂寞的时候，我会想起他。我多么想要他在我身旁陪伴着我。但是，我知道那是不可能的事。他还在兵营里。他的生活永远都是那么地忙碌, 连通电话都不能拨给我. 每一次的见面, 打招呼似乎是一件非常难的事. 在我心里, 他站的位子是重要的. 到目前为止, 没有任何人能够取代的. 我把他看得那么重. 他是否也是这样想我呢? 我只知道, 至今他都一直让我失望. 何时我才能知道答案呢? 他是否属于我?
我好寂寞, 好孤单, 好没有安全感… 唯一的希望就只盼他的到来. 但, 左盼右盼, 他连影子都没有出现过.
我看了别的男生, 尝试去考虑他们. “小我一两岁的应该可以吧? 这个怎样? 那个怎样?” 但, 最终还是觉得不适合. 他的名字一直都出现在我的脑海里. 你为什么一直纠缠着我, 却又不给我希望? 我恨我爱你!
*<<我恨我爱你>>这首歌是来自这样的故事吗?*
每每这一个时刻，我都会想起你。
但，你却不在我身旁
每一次，我在梦中叫你的名字，
但，你却不回应。
每一次，我伸出手向你求助，
但， 你却不理睬。
当我寂寞的时候，我会想起他。我多么想要他在我身旁陪伴着我。但是，我知道那是不可能的事。他还在兵营里。他的生活永远都是那么地忙碌, 连通电话都不能拨给我. 每一次的见面, 打招呼似乎是一件非常难的事. 在我心里, 他站的位子是重要的. 到目前为止, 没有任何人能够取代的. 我把他看得那么重. 他是否也是这样想我呢? 我只知道, 至今他都一直让我失望. 何时我才能知道答案呢? 他是否属于我?
我好寂寞, 好孤单, 好没有安全感… 唯一的希望就只盼他的到来. 但, 左盼右盼, 他连影子都没有出现过.
我看了别的男生, 尝试去考虑他们. “小我一两岁的应该可以吧? 这个怎样? 那个怎样?” 但, 最终还是觉得不适合. 他的名字一直都出现在我的脑海里. 你为什么一直纠缠着我, 却又不给我希望? 我恨我爱你!
*<<我恨我爱你>>这首歌是来自这样的故事吗?*
Monday, August 31, 2009
乱
乱乱的思绪. 乱乱的房间. 乱乱的生活.
毫不清楚的, 想做的一切也跟着乱了. 完全都不知道该做什么. 一切都很不清楚.
如果连最基本家里的琐事都做不好或没做的话, 那,你的人生就如你的家的情况一样了.
神-第一, 家-第二. 这可是十诫里头两个最重要的东西喔! 要记得, 除了神以外, 家可是第一喔!
如果你想要你的人生有着什么样的改变, 那, 第一, 你必须做的就是把家里打理好. 可能至少把自己的房间收拾好等等之类的. 我现在正面对这样的问题, 所以我能深深的体会这种感觉.
如果我人生要有什么样的变化的话, 我的房间就得先整理好了. 每一天都还是很乱. 真叫人受不了! 就算熬夜, 我也要快点把它做好! 好多东西要做喔! 但是, 我觉得我"准备"好了... (这是个不能说的秘密!) :P
毫不清楚的, 想做的一切也跟着乱了. 完全都不知道该做什么. 一切都很不清楚.
如果连最基本家里的琐事都做不好或没做的话, 那,你的人生就如你的家的情况一样了.
神-第一, 家-第二. 这可是十诫里头两个最重要的东西喔! 要记得, 除了神以外, 家可是第一喔!
如果你想要你的人生有着什么样的改变, 那, 第一, 你必须做的就是把家里打理好. 可能至少把自己的房间收拾好等等之类的. 我现在正面对这样的问题, 所以我能深深的体会这种感觉.
如果我人生要有什么样的变化的话, 我的房间就得先整理好了. 每一天都还是很乱. 真叫人受不了! 就算熬夜, 我也要快点把它做好! 好多东西要做喔! 但是, 我觉得我"准备"好了... (这是个不能说的秘密!) :P
Monday, August 24, 2009
Child of Destiny
Seriously, I had never thought that I would have the chance to perform in Victoria Concert Theatre with ticket selling public performance! It was such a fantastic experience! Incredible! We had all truly enjoyed ourselves very much! Not just the performance, but the great opportunity of every one of us gathered together in one place with the same purpose. That was such a precious moments with each other! Out of all of busyness, we were there!
The moment we finished the performance “Child of Destiny”, the audience stood up to clap their hands & cheered for us, we felt so proud of ourselves & so honor to be there! We smiled immediately. Some even wanted to tear!
With so many photos we had took, some of them actually “prophesized” of the slow working of the Facebook as all of us begin to flood the Facebook with thousands & thousands of photos!!! Hahaha…. :P I’m one of them! Hahaha…
Very tired but yet fulfilling…
To see the photos, go to the Facebook, friends! As I say, thousands & thousands of photos!!! LOL.
The moment we finished the performance “Child of Destiny”, the audience stood up to clap their hands & cheered for us, we felt so proud of ourselves & so honor to be there! We smiled immediately. Some even wanted to tear!
With so many photos we had took, some of them actually “prophesized” of the slow working of the Facebook as all of us begin to flood the Facebook with thousands & thousands of photos!!! Hahaha…. :P I’m one of them! Hahaha…
Very tired but yet fulfilling…
To see the photos, go to the Facebook, friends! As I say, thousands & thousands of photos!!! LOL.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
完成了第二个作业
终于完成了我的第二个作业，并且在线上交上了。终于放下了心中的一块石头。心理和身理都很疲倦了。好想大睡一场阿。。。但是，因为有太多的东西在忙碌的时侯，想要去做。所以，我无法错过在能休息的时候，去做。因此，我还是在忙着。。。哈哈。。。你应该在骂我为和不去休息了。哈。。。可是，能做我想做的东西是多么的开心的事啊！小小透漏一下。。。其中一样是看anime。其中宁一样是看电视节目。但，那绝对不是电视上的那些，而是线上的那些外国片。哈哈。。。我可是超级电视迷阿！哈哈。。。不知道这是个优点，还是缺点。。。 去看戏喽！Bye bye! :)
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Graduation
I want to be trueful to myself. That's why I share.
2yrs ago, my parents, especially my mum refused to attend my SOT graduation.
Is that a good thing or not. Till now, it has been a very deep memory in my heart.
It has unknowingly cause an effect in me. Do I need to overcome this?
I feel like being rebellious by not allowing my parents to attend my university graduation 3yrs later. Should I do that? Since I have no burden about they paid the school fee. This time round, I'm the one paying. What excuse for them to come? It is really bad to think like that.
Who is perfect? There'll be time that you'll be just like me, thinking in this way. It is just a thought. Whether or not it is going to happen will depends on your decision. So, what decision will you make?
I realize that many small little things that happen in your life can actually cause forth an impact in your life. It'll affect what decision you'll make in the future. It really will! For bad or good.
What decision should I make? To me, I feel that every graduation, no matter what it is for, should be respected. If anyone is to treat it lightly, I feel it is just not right to do so. I dislike this kind of person. Let's see what will happen in 3 yrs time. Will I allow my parents to go for my graduation? I feel with parents or without parents in graduation makes no difference. I'm used to simple and lonely graduation. It is like nothing big is happening. Other than taking photos, it is just taking photos... The only thing I feel more comforted is the friends who have come down specially to support me. Even without gifts, their greetings are more than enough. Though I'll still admire those who are surrounded by many people & with many gifts & surprises in their hands. So nice! How sweet it can be? Admire...
Why talk about graduation? It is because I just attended a graduation of my friends...
All the best! They're real blessed, surrounded with so much love! :D
2yrs ago, my parents, especially my mum refused to attend my SOT graduation.
Is that a good thing or not. Till now, it has been a very deep memory in my heart.
It has unknowingly cause an effect in me. Do I need to overcome this?
I feel like being rebellious by not allowing my parents to attend my university graduation 3yrs later. Should I do that? Since I have no burden about they paid the school fee. This time round, I'm the one paying. What excuse for them to come? It is really bad to think like that.
Who is perfect? There'll be time that you'll be just like me, thinking in this way. It is just a thought. Whether or not it is going to happen will depends on your decision. So, what decision will you make?
I realize that many small little things that happen in your life can actually cause forth an impact in your life. It'll affect what decision you'll make in the future. It really will! For bad or good.
What decision should I make? To me, I feel that every graduation, no matter what it is for, should be respected. If anyone is to treat it lightly, I feel it is just not right to do so. I dislike this kind of person. Let's see what will happen in 3 yrs time. Will I allow my parents to go for my graduation? I feel with parents or without parents in graduation makes no difference. I'm used to simple and lonely graduation. It is like nothing big is happening. Other than taking photos, it is just taking photos... The only thing I feel more comforted is the friends who have come down specially to support me. Even without gifts, their greetings are more than enough. Though I'll still admire those who are surrounded by many people & with many gifts & surprises in their hands. So nice! How sweet it can be? Admire...
Why talk about graduation? It is because I just attended a graduation of my friends...
All the best! They're real blessed, surrounded with so much love! :D
Monday, August 10, 2009
妒嫉
当我看到别人幸福，我会妒嫉他们。
当我看到我的好朋友跟别的朋友去某个地方玩得很开心，我会妒嫉。
（难道他们忘记了我？）
当我知道我被遗忘了，我会觉得这个世界并不需要我。
当我被利用了，我会觉得心如刀割。
当我被欺骗了，我会觉得这个世界怎么会是这样。我心碎了。
当我孤单的时候，谁来陪我。当我伤心难过时，谁来安慰。
当我看到别人拥有着幸福美满的家庭生活，我会想“难道我没有吗？”
当我得不到我想要的东西，我会放弃。就让他走吧。
如果我不被珍惜，我不会强求任何的事情。我就是这样的。
当我看到或知道原来他有了目标或女友，我会祝福他们。
我想我是一个不会“抢”的女人吧。
我认为不属于我的东西，终究并不会属于我的。何必强求呢？
整天看着别人的好，却看不见自己的好。那是一件多么辛苦的事。
要如何才不会去比较，却又能发觉自己的优点与潜能呢？要如何去寻找适合自己的style呢？
每一天都是学习的一天。人生有着学不完的东西和领悟。人生漫长，要珍惜。无论生命有多长，我们都要努力去过好我们的每一天。即使是失败与不愉快，我们都要学习着爬起来，再战的精神。如果你只剩下最后一天的生命，你会做什么呢？
“幸福绝对不是偶然的，也不是绝对的。它是需要你去努力争取的。”
“世上没有不劳而获的事情，只有一份耕耘，一份收获。”
“努力是必然的。没有了努力，一切都会变得没有意义了。”
“你准备好挑战人生吗？”
当我看到我的好朋友跟别的朋友去某个地方玩得很开心，我会妒嫉。
（难道他们忘记了我？）
当我知道我被遗忘了，我会觉得这个世界并不需要我。
当我被利用了，我会觉得心如刀割。
当我被欺骗了，我会觉得这个世界怎么会是这样。我心碎了。
当我孤单的时候，谁来陪我。当我伤心难过时，谁来安慰。
当我看到别人拥有着幸福美满的家庭生活，我会想“难道我没有吗？”
当我得不到我想要的东西，我会放弃。就让他走吧。
如果我不被珍惜，我不会强求任何的事情。我就是这样的。
当我看到或知道原来他有了目标或女友，我会祝福他们。
我想我是一个不会“抢”的女人吧。
我认为不属于我的东西，终究并不会属于我的。何必强求呢？
整天看着别人的好，却看不见自己的好。那是一件多么辛苦的事。
要如何才不会去比较，却又能发觉自己的优点与潜能呢？要如何去寻找适合自己的style呢？
每一天都是学习的一天。人生有着学不完的东西和领悟。人生漫长，要珍惜。无论生命有多长，我们都要努力去过好我们的每一天。即使是失败与不愉快，我们都要学习着爬起来，再战的精神。如果你只剩下最后一天的生命，你会做什么呢？
“幸福绝对不是偶然的，也不是绝对的。它是需要你去努力争取的。”
“世上没有不劳而获的事情，只有一份耕耘，一份收获。”
“努力是必然的。没有了努力，一切都会变得没有意义了。”
“你准备好挑战人生吗？”
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Drama Effect
Love is an experience of being with someone, sharing all the happiness & unhappiness. You get to know that person day by day. The feeling for him become more & more.
-That's relationship...
When watching dramas, people cry. This is because they longed for that kind of perfect love or relationship in the show that they can't get in real life. Therefore, they get very touched & desire very much of what's going on in the show. They start to pity themselves of not having the same story or scenario shown in the show. Is drama an illusion for us? Or is drama a place where we get our emptiness filled in? Or is it there to "fulfill" the dream that we can't get in real life?
Everybody cries. I cry. My sister cries. My mum cries. My friends cry.
But, it is still not good nor healthy to get too into the drama as it is not your life. You are supposed to create your own future, your own life! It shouldn't be the same as what the drama is showing. That is either other's experience or just a thoughts created by someone. Don't let your life lives in an illusion world!
-That's relationship...
When watching dramas, people cry. This is because they longed for that kind of perfect love or relationship in the show that they can't get in real life. Therefore, they get very touched & desire very much of what's going on in the show. They start to pity themselves of not having the same story or scenario shown in the show. Is drama an illusion for us? Or is drama a place where we get our emptiness filled in? Or is it there to "fulfill" the dream that we can't get in real life?
Everybody cries. I cry. My sister cries. My mum cries. My friends cry.
But, it is still not good nor healthy to get too into the drama as it is not your life. You are supposed to create your own future, your own life! It shouldn't be the same as what the drama is showing. That is either other's experience or just a thoughts created by someone. Don't let your life lives in an illusion world!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Tired Body, Soul & Mind
I'm feeling very tired now. My body is without strength. My heart is reluctant to do anything. My mind can't think. All I need now is REST! This is the side effect of OT. I really don't like. I did OT very unwillingly. I wanted very much to reject it but I can't say it to the manager. It is a very contradicting feeling there.
I'm on leave tomorrow. I really need this break & time with my best friend, Kitty! God, please don't let my supervisor call me back to work tommorrow! I really don't have any energy for work tommorrow since I've prepared myself for the break. If I keep forcing myself to do work, I think I'll give up very soon. Worst to worst, the more that I may feel like resigning immediately. The situation in the company now is quite confusing. My heart just can't rest among all the confusion. Work has become much more & can't be understood. Sometimes I wonder what is going on. If I don't know the purpose behind some of the work given, I guess I can't do it efficiently. I'm always doing according to instructions given & with much confusion, not knowing why I need to do that. I guess my superior is also not clear in his mind too. He is too stressed up & occupied with too many things. Yet, our department is only him & I. This is all thanks to our MIA ex-colleague. Till today, I still feel that that colleague who went MIA is very irresponsible. How can he not accountable or responsible to his decision made?! He just leave us like that. Yes, we can survive without him. But, problems & inconvenience had already caused to us.
One of the reasons that I'm staying in this company now is the need of the pay for my school fee and another one is to help my superior in the work as the department has only us left. I feel I can't possibly leave him all alone there. His work is already very stressful & difficult to handle. It is just unfair that he has to do all the work of the department. Moreover, he is a superior! What superior is he if there's no assistants or people under him?
Of course, there is no promise that I'll stay in this company for long. Perhaps at least up to the end of this year after the bonus. Meantime, I'll have a lookout for related job to my course. Hopefully, I can find a better job with higher pay & has good potential in the developing of my career. God, I really need help!!!! I'm tired & confused right now.... :(
I'm on leave tomorrow. I really need this break & time with my best friend, Kitty! God, please don't let my supervisor call me back to work tommorrow! I really don't have any energy for work tommorrow since I've prepared myself for the break. If I keep forcing myself to do work, I think I'll give up very soon. Worst to worst, the more that I may feel like resigning immediately. The situation in the company now is quite confusing. My heart just can't rest among all the confusion. Work has become much more & can't be understood. Sometimes I wonder what is going on. If I don't know the purpose behind some of the work given, I guess I can't do it efficiently. I'm always doing according to instructions given & with much confusion, not knowing why I need to do that. I guess my superior is also not clear in his mind too. He is too stressed up & occupied with too many things. Yet, our department is only him & I. This is all thanks to our MIA ex-colleague. Till today, I still feel that that colleague who went MIA is very irresponsible. How can he not accountable or responsible to his decision made?! He just leave us like that. Yes, we can survive without him. But, problems & inconvenience had already caused to us.
One of the reasons that I'm staying in this company now is the need of the pay for my school fee and another one is to help my superior in the work as the department has only us left. I feel I can't possibly leave him all alone there. His work is already very stressful & difficult to handle. It is just unfair that he has to do all the work of the department. Moreover, he is a superior! What superior is he if there's no assistants or people under him?
Of course, there is no promise that I'll stay in this company for long. Perhaps at least up to the end of this year after the bonus. Meantime, I'll have a lookout for related job to my course. Hopefully, I can find a better job with higher pay & has good potential in the developing of my career. God, I really need help!!!! I'm tired & confused right now.... :(
Sunday, July 12, 2009
"Sunday Sickness"
Sometimes I wonder why I have so many complicated thoughts in my mind. As I browse through other people's blog, I'll think to myself why can't I be as simple as them. The things that they wrote were so simple & direct. Then, what's in me? I don 't seem to be able to make things easy. Where do complicatedness comes from?
Every Sunday is like a complicated day. It is always this day that makes me thinks & reflects a lot of what had happened during the week. It can be quite annoying sometimes that I have to go through all these every week. I don't like the feeling. It is like a sickness that is kept holding on to me & I can't get it off me. If there's anything that happens that makes me feel stupid, embarrassed & etc., it'll stay in my mind for quite some time before I can throw it aside. (until someone or something reminds me of it again.) It's a terrible feeling like a sickness. I don't know who else has the same kind of experience as me. All I know is this has been part of my life for years. If you really wants to understand me, I think you'll have to first understand the complicated side of me. Even I till today, don't understand!
What is Monday's blues? Perhaps to me, Monday's blues is caused by my "Sunday's sickness". I don't like Sunday to come so soon but yet, Sunday is my Service day. (Contradicting feeling)
*To my beloved friends who are reading my blog & is concerned about me, don't worry about me. This is my blog. I'm just sharing my mind with you guys. I don't wanna hide so much that I feel I'm just a fake or an empty shell in this blog. If that's the case, what's the point of having a blog & yet, don't want to let others knows you at all. Thanks for the concerns anyway! It means you guys are reading my blog! I'm so glad about that! :D
Every Sunday is like a complicated day. It is always this day that makes me thinks & reflects a lot of what had happened during the week. It can be quite annoying sometimes that I have to go through all these every week. I don't like the feeling. It is like a sickness that is kept holding on to me & I can't get it off me. If there's anything that happens that makes me feel stupid, embarrassed & etc., it'll stay in my mind for quite some time before I can throw it aside. (until someone or something reminds me of it again.) It's a terrible feeling like a sickness. I don't know who else has the same kind of experience as me. All I know is this has been part of my life for years. If you really wants to understand me, I think you'll have to first understand the complicated side of me. Even I till today, don't understand!
What is Monday's blues? Perhaps to me, Monday's blues is caused by my "Sunday's sickness". I don't like Sunday to come so soon but yet, Sunday is my Service day. (Contradicting feeling)
*To my beloved friends who are reading my blog & is concerned about me, don't worry about me. This is my blog. I'm just sharing my mind with you guys. I don't wanna hide so much that I feel I'm just a fake or an empty shell in this blog. If that's the case, what's the point of having a blog & yet, don't want to let others knows you at all. Thanks for the concerns anyway! It means you guys are reading my blog! I'm so glad about that! :D
Thursday, July 9, 2009
A Fresh New Beginning or A Fresh Old Challenge
It is always excitement before a new beginning starts. This is when you can throw your past at the back of your head, to start afresh again. What a good opportunity! It's a good feeling but unfortunately, it won't last for long.
As time passes, the same pressure will come all over you again. The kind of self-blame mentality will come. You will start blaming yourself why you haven't done this or that from the start or why you haven't done it better & so on & so on. It is just a never ending story. When more & more comes, you'll feel like you're going to be insane anytime. This is very important, not to neglect. Among your busyness, do remember to take care of your psychological health. If not, it'll become a bondage to you until the day you can put it down. & mind you, this is not an easy job. Keep this in mind: It is always good to prevent than to cure.
"What you see in your mind, you'll become." Visions do carry power in it. If you visualize yourself as a failure, eventually you'll be one. Whereas, if you visualize yourself as a successful person, you shall be one. It determines the condition of your heart. You will either become positive or negative. It is all in the hand of your decision.
If you are a person who keep telling yourself "I can't do it", it's time for you to start saying the opposite. Stand in front of the mirror & start telling yourself that "I can do it!" repeatedly for at least 10 times. If 10 times is not enough, goes on for another 10 times & 10 times until you feel better.
Of course, just believing in yourself is not enough. Nonetheless, it is a good start for you. Once you have a healthy mind, you've already won the first half of the war even before you fight! Next, the most important of all is that you've to work hard for what you have believed! "Faith without work is dead!" In order to see the result, you'll have to work hard for it. Bring out your courage & boldness to go into the battlefield & fight like a brave warrior. Come what may, you'll still press on till the end. "Nothing will be too difficult for the one who believes." Sometimes, other than boldness, perservarance is the key to success too. "Roman isn't build within a day." Everything takes time to build. You don't become a perfect person overnight. It takes time, moulding & testing. You have to decide whether you are willing to take the challenge. So, are you ready?
"I'm always feeling very challenged. Can it be I've not overcome that challenge yet?" Possibly.
Therefore, it is a fresh new beginning or a fresh old challenge. That's a question.
As time passes, the same pressure will come all over you again. The kind of self-blame mentality will come. You will start blaming yourself why you haven't done this or that from the start or why you haven't done it better & so on & so on. It is just a never ending story. When more & more comes, you'll feel like you're going to be insane anytime. This is very important, not to neglect. Among your busyness, do remember to take care of your psychological health. If not, it'll become a bondage to you until the day you can put it down. & mind you, this is not an easy job. Keep this in mind: It is always good to prevent than to cure.
"What you see in your mind, you'll become." Visions do carry power in it. If you visualize yourself as a failure, eventually you'll be one. Whereas, if you visualize yourself as a successful person, you shall be one. It determines the condition of your heart. You will either become positive or negative. It is all in the hand of your decision.
If you are a person who keep telling yourself "I can't do it", it's time for you to start saying the opposite. Stand in front of the mirror & start telling yourself that "I can do it!" repeatedly for at least 10 times. If 10 times is not enough, goes on for another 10 times & 10 times until you feel better.
Of course, just believing in yourself is not enough. Nonetheless, it is a good start for you. Once you have a healthy mind, you've already won the first half of the war even before you fight! Next, the most important of all is that you've to work hard for what you have believed! "Faith without work is dead!" In order to see the result, you'll have to work hard for it. Bring out your courage & boldness to go into the battlefield & fight like a brave warrior. Come what may, you'll still press on till the end. "Nothing will be too difficult for the one who believes." Sometimes, other than boldness, perservarance is the key to success too. "Roman isn't build within a day." Everything takes time to build. You don't become a perfect person overnight. It takes time, moulding & testing. You have to decide whether you are willing to take the challenge. So, are you ready?
"I'm always feeling very challenged. Can it be I've not overcome that challenge yet?" Possibly.
Therefore, it is a fresh new beginning or a fresh old challenge. That's a question.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Christina
Christina’s Formulae:
C - Contemporary Dancer
H - Helpful Friend
R - Resourceful Employee
I - Impactful Worship Leader
S - Singing Phenomenom
T - Talented Artist
I - Intimate Counsellor
N - Nice Smile
A - Angel In Disguise.
Copyright. Victor Chan
Dou mo arigatou gozaimasu!
C - Contemporary Dancer
H - Helpful Friend
R - Resourceful Employee
I - Impactful Worship Leader
S - Singing Phenomenom
T - Talented Artist
I - Intimate Counsellor
N - Nice Smile
A - Angel In Disguise.
Copyright. Victor Chan
Dou mo arigatou gozaimasu!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
射手座
射手座
射手女生可能永远也不会知道自己想要的是什么，但是她一直都很清楚，她不想要的是什么。她总喜欢做幕后的看客，冷冷地，静静地看着一切，在她眼里，一切都在她的意料之中，她并不觉得有什么是新奇的，如果她表现得新奇，那是因为她觉得应该这样做。她像一个看戏的人，永远置身事外。
>>>你不要责怪她冷漠，这是她保护自己的唯一方式。她像一只刺猬，随时竖起自己身上的刺，但她的刺不会伤人，她只是用来武装自己。>>>她不敢要太多的爱，她怕享受完爱之后，剩下的只是加倍的痛。所以当别人对她过度宠爱时，她不但不会欣喜，反而会惊惧地逃走，她不知道怎样回报别人对她的爱，如果你得到她的喜爱，那是因为她已经知道如何面对，如何回报了。
>>>>她追求那种君子之交淡如水的境界。>>>她懂得爱人，但她不习惯爱人，她知道爱往往伴随着恨，而恨，是太沉重的伤痛，也是太容易让人疲倦的感情。她不想痛，也就懒得去恨，于是，为了防范恨与痛的到来，她只好选择不爱，即使爱，也是淡淡的，冷冷的。别怪她，她是真的不知道如何专注。
>>>她有时也很虚伪。不要指责她，她之所以选择虚伪，那是你勉强她做她不愿做但又拒绝不了的事，她不习惯承诺，也不懂得拒绝，她最擅长的是难为自己。她不想你难过，只好令自己难过。>>>她总是固执地认为自己有超乎寻常的承受力，她将自己想得太坚强，而把别人想得太脆弱。她老是担心自己的行为会让别人受到伤害。她不知道，受伤的其实是自己。只是她不知道如何表现出来，她迷糊得像别人所认为的那样，将自己当成一个百毒不侵的人。
>>>>别以为她很洒脱，很多时候，她其实是放不下的-——她比任何人都要敏感，都要细腻，但她不会让你知道，她明白，即使你知道了，也是无济于事。她的心是把握不住的风，她渴望像风一样单纯而自由。
>>>她不是不想平静，她只是找不到平静的理由，她一生都无法明确自己在人世要扮演的角色，她只有不停地寻求，寻求自己最终的目的。>>>>如果她找到了，她会毫不犹豫地停下来，从此放弃心灵的漂泊。很遗憾，她永远也不会满足，她的追求永不停止。她的心再累，无法逼迫自己放弃梦想，梦想是她唯一的支撑点。
>>>千万别让她失望。因为她学不会原谅，她非常渴求完美，虽然她知道世间没有绝对的完美，但，她有绝对追求完美的执着。你若令她失望，她会不可挽回地离开，即使她的心在滴血，即使痛楚重得要压垮她的生命，她也绝不回头。>>>>那个时候，你在她脸上所看到的，是让人寒心的决绝。即使她还在你的身边，她的心也早就离你十万八千里，你看不到她的恨，但是你会感受到比恨还让人痛苦的冷淡。她的离开是心灵的离开。
>>>她可以在前半分钟对你好得让你受宠若惊，也可以在后半钟冷漠得让你不可接受。不要问她为什么这样善变，她也不知道。当你看到她在疯狂地快乐或悲伤时，千万不要迷惑，不管她看起来是多么的疯狂，她内心其实是冷静的，她比你们任何一个旁观者更知道如何处理快乐与悲伤，她只是习惯-——也可以说是喜欢将一切都变得疯狂。>>>因为她觉得这是义务，也是权利，她是制造气氛的能手，她的一句俏皮话会让一切轻快起来，但她的一声叹息又会将一切都弄得很沉重。她总是不由自主地交错操纵着快乐与忧郁. >>>她并不如你们看到的那么快乐，同样，也不如你们看到的那么忧伤，只是，她忧郁时，喜欢带上快乐的面具，而当她快乐时，忧郁又不肯轻易放过她。
>>>在她的世界里，盛着的不是快乐的源泉，而是她不愿在人前滴下的泪水。你看到的她，笑起来像一个孩子，你有时会认为她天真得像是童话里走出来的天使。但是，你若有心，你会看到她沉静时脸上挥之不去的忧伤，还有她的眼底，竟那么凝重地积压着一种看破红尘的味道。她只有在午夜无人的时候，才会完全地释放自己。她不会在众目睽睽之下表露她的无助，她的彷徨，她的沧桑。>>>她心里的，是永远流不尽的泪。你所看到的坚强，只是她在竭力掩饰的脆弱。
射手女生可能永远也不会知道自己想要的是什么，但是她一直都很清楚，她不想要的是什么。她总喜欢做幕后的看客，冷冷地，静静地看着一切，在她眼里，一切都在她的意料之中，她并不觉得有什么是新奇的，如果她表现得新奇，那是因为她觉得应该这样做。她像一个看戏的人，永远置身事外。
>>>你不要责怪她冷漠，这是她保护自己的唯一方式。她像一只刺猬，随时竖起自己身上的刺，但她的刺不会伤人，她只是用来武装自己。>>>她不敢要太多的爱，她怕享受完爱之后，剩下的只是加倍的痛。所以当别人对她过度宠爱时，她不但不会欣喜，反而会惊惧地逃走，她不知道怎样回报别人对她的爱，如果你得到她的喜爱，那是因为她已经知道如何面对，如何回报了。
>>>>她追求那种君子之交淡如水的境界。>>>她懂得爱人，但她不习惯爱人，她知道爱往往伴随着恨，而恨，是太沉重的伤痛，也是太容易让人疲倦的感情。她不想痛，也就懒得去恨，于是，为了防范恨与痛的到来，她只好选择不爱，即使爱，也是淡淡的，冷冷的。别怪她，她是真的不知道如何专注。
>>>她有时也很虚伪。不要指责她，她之所以选择虚伪，那是你勉强她做她不愿做但又拒绝不了的事，她不习惯承诺，也不懂得拒绝，她最擅长的是难为自己。她不想你难过，只好令自己难过。>>>她总是固执地认为自己有超乎寻常的承受力，她将自己想得太坚强，而把别人想得太脆弱。她老是担心自己的行为会让别人受到伤害。她不知道，受伤的其实是自己。只是她不知道如何表现出来，她迷糊得像别人所认为的那样，将自己当成一个百毒不侵的人。
>>>>别以为她很洒脱，很多时候，她其实是放不下的-——她比任何人都要敏感，都要细腻，但她不会让你知道，她明白，即使你知道了，也是无济于事。她的心是把握不住的风，她渴望像风一样单纯而自由。
>>>她不是不想平静，她只是找不到平静的理由，她一生都无法明确自己在人世要扮演的角色，她只有不停地寻求，寻求自己最终的目的。>>>>如果她找到了，她会毫不犹豫地停下来，从此放弃心灵的漂泊。很遗憾，她永远也不会满足，她的追求永不停止。她的心再累，无法逼迫自己放弃梦想，梦想是她唯一的支撑点。
>>>千万别让她失望。因为她学不会原谅，她非常渴求完美，虽然她知道世间没有绝对的完美，但，她有绝对追求完美的执着。你若令她失望，她会不可挽回地离开，即使她的心在滴血，即使痛楚重得要压垮她的生命，她也绝不回头。>>>>那个时候，你在她脸上所看到的，是让人寒心的决绝。即使她还在你的身边，她的心也早就离你十万八千里，你看不到她的恨，但是你会感受到比恨还让人痛苦的冷淡。她的离开是心灵的离开。
>>>她可以在前半分钟对你好得让你受宠若惊，也可以在后半钟冷漠得让你不可接受。不要问她为什么这样善变，她也不知道。当你看到她在疯狂地快乐或悲伤时，千万不要迷惑，不管她看起来是多么的疯狂，她内心其实是冷静的，她比你们任何一个旁观者更知道如何处理快乐与悲伤，她只是习惯-——也可以说是喜欢将一切都变得疯狂。>>>因为她觉得这是义务，也是权利，她是制造气氛的能手，她的一句俏皮话会让一切轻快起来，但她的一声叹息又会将一切都弄得很沉重。她总是不由自主地交错操纵着快乐与忧郁. >>>她并不如你们看到的那么快乐，同样，也不如你们看到的那么忧伤，只是，她忧郁时，喜欢带上快乐的面具，而当她快乐时，忧郁又不肯轻易放过她。
>>>在她的世界里，盛着的不是快乐的源泉，而是她不愿在人前滴下的泪水。你看到的她，笑起来像一个孩子，你有时会认为她天真得像是童话里走出来的天使。但是，你若有心，你会看到她沉静时脸上挥之不去的忧伤，还有她的眼底，竟那么凝重地积压着一种看破红尘的味道。她只有在午夜无人的时候，才会完全地释放自己。她不会在众目睽睽之下表露她的无助，她的彷徨，她的沧桑。>>>她心里的，是永远流不尽的泪。你所看到的坚强，只是她在竭力掩饰的脆弱。
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Drifting away...
I’m drifting away from everything. When a friend asks you how you have been, will you answer “I’m fine” just like I do? What does it mean? Are you really fine? Perhaps, it is just a standard answer. You are just answering for the sake of answering.
In the deepest of your heart, you are actually feeling not that well. But, you don’t want to let others know about it. Sometimes, being transparent is equal to endangering yourself. Not all the people around you or in this world, you can trust completely. No one is perfect. This is a broken down world. That’s why everyday you can help complains everywhere. It is just because of the imperfect people around.
Being too complaining is not healthy. Just a thought of it, who are you to judge others when you are imperfect. I have a friend like this & it is very irritating to always have to listen to all the complaining. Sometimes, I’m wondering when my friend can stop. I must learn to stop complain to.
“I hate this person.” “I don’t like this person.” What is the real reason behind that causes us to feel that way? Can it be because we don’t understand them well or just our another bias? It had happened to me. I ended up realized that it is not what I had thought it to be. Why not, let’s stop hating or disliking person so much?
Am I writing too much? I always have many thoughts in mind. There is even someone who told me that I talk too much. Ouch! That hurts! Is this really true? Anyway, it is only one person I don’t know much who told me this. That person is a very quiet person. I was just trying to get her to talk much. Unfortunately, I failed.
I told someone before that I like to write. The main reason that I like so much is because I have many thoughts in my mind that I have no where to release to. I can’t possibly share all with anyone else. Therefore, I choose to write everything down. At least I’m “sharing” it with the paper or computer. Next time, when you see me writing or typing, it can be I’m busy with my thoughts. :)
In the deepest of your heart, you are actually feeling not that well. But, you don’t want to let others know about it. Sometimes, being transparent is equal to endangering yourself. Not all the people around you or in this world, you can trust completely. No one is perfect. This is a broken down world. That’s why everyday you can help complains everywhere. It is just because of the imperfect people around.
Being too complaining is not healthy. Just a thought of it, who are you to judge others when you are imperfect. I have a friend like this & it is very irritating to always have to listen to all the complaining. Sometimes, I’m wondering when my friend can stop. I must learn to stop complain to.
“I hate this person.” “I don’t like this person.” What is the real reason behind that causes us to feel that way? Can it be because we don’t understand them well or just our another bias? It had happened to me. I ended up realized that it is not what I had thought it to be. Why not, let’s stop hating or disliking person so much?
Am I writing too much? I always have many thoughts in mind. There is even someone who told me that I talk too much. Ouch! That hurts! Is this really true? Anyway, it is only one person I don’t know much who told me this. That person is a very quiet person. I was just trying to get her to talk much. Unfortunately, I failed.
I told someone before that I like to write. The main reason that I like so much is because I have many thoughts in my mind that I have no where to release to. I can’t possibly share all with anyone else. Therefore, I choose to write everything down. At least I’m “sharing” it with the paper or computer. Next time, when you see me writing or typing, it can be I’m busy with my thoughts. :)
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Great Shopping, Big Spending!
After CHCSA Orientation at Riverwalk, I decided to go shopping. It has been a donkey years since I last shopped. Today is just so incredible. I like this feeling, but money is never enough. Sigh... Sometimes I wonder if God can drop down from heaven a few hundred bucks for me, how great it can be! My "dream" is to have lots of money to eat, to shop, to do my hair, my nails & etc. to pamper myself. It is a dream. When can it comes to pass? (Some of my friends will surely ask me to go & find a rich guy as my boyfriend... hahaha... :P)
Before shopping, I went for a light lunch with Graz, her friend & her friend's daughter. It is an experience to talk to them. It is like a preparation for me as a cousellor-to-be. I'll cherish what I've seen today. Thanks Graz for the lunch as well. :)
My original purpose is to buy an eye brow liner, its sharpener & its comb. On the way, I saw sales, sales, sales & SALES!!!! OMG....! This is so tempting! As I walked past those stores, I couldn't help it to take a second look at the window display. Oh my, I've to control myself. "Low budget, low budget..." I kept telling myself.
Then, I walked to the door of "Charles & Keith". OH!!! I looked down at my spoilt shoes. I decided to walk in & take a look. In my mind, it immediately appears many thoughts.
"Should I buy casual shoes?" "Should I buy heels?" "Should I buy for the Wedding?" "Should I buy for work?" Ah.....! I was going crazy! What exactly should I buy for?? Finally, I made a decision. I bought a pair of very nice, classy, "high-class" black heels. Imagine how long does it takes for me to decide! (You won't believe it. I just can't make up my mind.)
Finally, I managed to go the store to buy my eye brow liner & etc. Just before I decided to head for home, I was thinking of trimming my badly trimmed eye brow by my mum. Therefore, I headed to "browhaus" at Raffles City. It was a nice experience there. The therapist & the receptionists were very friendly & had provided very good service. I know some ppl will surely say that they're doing this for business. But, without good service, how to have good business! Sometimes, consumers go for the service, not exactly the treatment/product. Please, please ppl... Stop saying that anymore! It is as if they're cheating you. No! This is just business.
A Good Day Shopping Indeed!
**200+ bucks harvest today:
Before shopping, I went for a light lunch with Graz, her friend & her friend's daughter. It is an experience to talk to them. It is like a preparation for me as a cousellor-to-be. I'll cherish what I've seen today. Thanks Graz for the lunch as well. :)
My original purpose is to buy an eye brow liner, its sharpener & its comb. On the way, I saw sales, sales, sales & SALES!!!! OMG....! This is so tempting! As I walked past those stores, I couldn't help it to take a second look at the window display. Oh my, I've to control myself. "Low budget, low budget..." I kept telling myself.
Then, I walked to the door of "Charles & Keith". OH!!! I looked down at my spoilt shoes. I decided to walk in & take a look. In my mind, it immediately appears many thoughts.
"Should I buy casual shoes?" "Should I buy heels?" "Should I buy for the Wedding?" "Should I buy for work?" Ah.....! I was going crazy! What exactly should I buy for?? Finally, I made a decision. I bought a pair of very nice, classy, "high-class" black heels. Imagine how long does it takes for me to decide! (You won't believe it. I just can't make up my mind.)
Finally, I managed to go the store to buy my eye brow liner & etc. Just before I decided to head for home, I was thinking of trimming my badly trimmed eye brow by my mum. Therefore, I headed to "browhaus" at Raffles City. It was a nice experience there. The therapist & the receptionists were very friendly & had provided very good service. I know some ppl will surely say that they're doing this for business. But, without good service, how to have good business! Sometimes, consumers go for the service, not exactly the treatment/product. Please, please ppl... Stop saying that anymore! It is as if they're cheating you. No! This is just business.
A Good Day Shopping Indeed!
**200+ bucks harvest today:
- Eyebrow liner
- Eyebrow liner's sharpener
- Eyebrow liner's comb
- A pair of black heels (for the weddings to attend)
- Package for eyebrow & upper lip's threading (x10)(plus 50% for today's)
*"Don't misunderstood me. I'm not rich, nor I spending extravagantly. Neither am I lying about my "money not enough". All these spending was done under many thoughts & calculations & those are my needs. It is not easy, but I can't possibly always limit myself to the poverty mindset." -Christina Adalia
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Last Day Rest At Home
I’m sick. I’m having flu. My body feels hot all over, but there’s no fever. I’ve body ache. My head feels heavy. My breathing is not like normal. My throat feels very dry. I feel tired. Perhaps it is a good time for me to rest.
I rested from Fri till now. Tomorrow is Monday! That’s what I don’t like. I don’t like Monday to come so soon. It only means that I’ve to go to work again. Recently, I’m feeling quite reluctant to go to work. But, for the sake of my school fee & my superior, I’ll continue to stay on. It is totally no fun at work now. There’s nothing for me to look forward to. May be this is the reason why. I planned to leave my current job in another one year or one year plus time. The reason for why I want to leave is not only to change a job, but to find a job that is related to my course so that it’ll be easier for me to find attachment during the attachment period. It is like a plan to prepare my path long before the graduation. I need to gain some experiences before I leave school to well prepare myself for the real world & to be more effective or efficient in my work.
“What is the real world? It is only when you go out there, then you’ll know.”
-Nana
What I’m having in mind:
v Build up my body to be healthier, more tone up & also to have a better stamina.
v Plan aside some money to buy clothes. (OS: I want to shop!! I need new clothes!!!)
v Keep my room always tidied up. (Neat & orderly)
I rested from Fri till now. Tomorrow is Monday! That’s what I don’t like. I don’t like Monday to come so soon. It only means that I’ve to go to work again. Recently, I’m feeling quite reluctant to go to work. But, for the sake of my school fee & my superior, I’ll continue to stay on. It is totally no fun at work now. There’s nothing for me to look forward to. May be this is the reason why. I planned to leave my current job in another one year or one year plus time. The reason for why I want to leave is not only to change a job, but to find a job that is related to my course so that it’ll be easier for me to find attachment during the attachment period. It is like a plan to prepare my path long before the graduation. I need to gain some experiences before I leave school to well prepare myself for the real world & to be more effective or efficient in my work.
“What is the real world? It is only when you go out there, then you’ll know.”
-Nana
What I’m having in mind:
v Build up my body to be healthier, more tone up & also to have a better stamina.
v Plan aside some money to buy clothes. (OS: I want to shop!! I need new clothes!!!)
v Keep my room always tidied up. (Neat & orderly)
Friday, June 19, 2009
Loneliness
An empty mind. An empty shell. A black space/room.
Everything is in darkness. What can I do?
I’ve been lonely for many years since young. I thought it could be a habit. I would just used to be alone. Then, I realized that this was not the case. Instead, I become very afraid of & dislike loneliness. I don’t like the feeling of being left out or neglected. Therefore, that explains why I’ve been an attention seeker for the past years. I search for recognition & company. Perhaps, I’ve enough of the loneliness at home. Due to age gap between my sisters & me, I’m always being outcast unintentionally. My sisters find no topic between them & me. I once asked myself why all these were happening to me. “Was my birth a mistake?” I asked. But, to be sure, this is definitely not a mistake! God created everything for a purpose. We never know how great the plan is that God had prepared ahead for us. We just have to learn to lean on Him.
I’m not trying to tell everyone that I’m spiritual, I’m an attention seeker, and I’m pathetic here. I just want to share something that is so real in life that I’ve experienced or I’m experiencing. Walking with God is not easy. It never was. Not even a verse or a word in the bible says so. It is always trials & tribulations that are mentioned. How cruel it is, but this is life. Without them, we can’t grow nor be moulded.
I wish to hear a voice speaking to me when I’m all alone in a quiet room. I wish to see a light when I’m in the darkness. I wish to see a hand stretching out to me when I’m lost. This is so real, so real! This is exactly what I’m feeling & going through. You believe it or not, I’m not perfect. Being a Christian is not being perfect but learning to change to be better & better, to have breakthrough upon breakthrough. If people wants to criticize Christians, do they ever think in what stand they are to judge us. Let anyone who is perfect & sinless, comes forward & judge! They’re not God. So, who are they to judge?! There will be times that we will feel so injustice. This is life & is a fact that we’ve to recognize. We can’t be naïve to think that we’re going to live like a saint without any problem, sadness, disappointments & etc. in life. This is not the truth.
In God, we need to first acknowledge & know ourselves. Knowing who we are in God is a very important key in life. Without knowing, we’re just nothing. Just like we don’t know how to use a cell phone, the cell phone will become useless. The reason is the cell phone can’t release its potential as a cell phone. Therefore, it becomes dead. We don’t want to be that cell phone, do we?
In prayer:
God… Comes & heals us once again. Come & fill this place with your presence that comforts the souls. Lord… Without you, we’re nothing. Come & release the potential in us. Guides us, leads us, oh Lord…
Everything is in darkness. What can I do?
I’ve been lonely for many years since young. I thought it could be a habit. I would just used to be alone. Then, I realized that this was not the case. Instead, I become very afraid of & dislike loneliness. I don’t like the feeling of being left out or neglected. Therefore, that explains why I’ve been an attention seeker for the past years. I search for recognition & company. Perhaps, I’ve enough of the loneliness at home. Due to age gap between my sisters & me, I’m always being outcast unintentionally. My sisters find no topic between them & me. I once asked myself why all these were happening to me. “Was my birth a mistake?” I asked. But, to be sure, this is definitely not a mistake! God created everything for a purpose. We never know how great the plan is that God had prepared ahead for us. We just have to learn to lean on Him.
I’m not trying to tell everyone that I’m spiritual, I’m an attention seeker, and I’m pathetic here. I just want to share something that is so real in life that I’ve experienced or I’m experiencing. Walking with God is not easy. It never was. Not even a verse or a word in the bible says so. It is always trials & tribulations that are mentioned. How cruel it is, but this is life. Without them, we can’t grow nor be moulded.
I wish to hear a voice speaking to me when I’m all alone in a quiet room. I wish to see a light when I’m in the darkness. I wish to see a hand stretching out to me when I’m lost. This is so real, so real! This is exactly what I’m feeling & going through. You believe it or not, I’m not perfect. Being a Christian is not being perfect but learning to change to be better & better, to have breakthrough upon breakthrough. If people wants to criticize Christians, do they ever think in what stand they are to judge us. Let anyone who is perfect & sinless, comes forward & judge! They’re not God. So, who are they to judge?! There will be times that we will feel so injustice. This is life & is a fact that we’ve to recognize. We can’t be naïve to think that we’re going to live like a saint without any problem, sadness, disappointments & etc. in life. This is not the truth.
In God, we need to first acknowledge & know ourselves. Knowing who we are in God is a very important key in life. Without knowing, we’re just nothing. Just like we don’t know how to use a cell phone, the cell phone will become useless. The reason is the cell phone can’t release its potential as a cell phone. Therefore, it becomes dead. We don’t want to be that cell phone, do we?
In prayer:
God… Comes & heals us once again. Come & fill this place with your presence that comforts the souls. Lord… Without you, we’re nothing. Come & release the potential in us. Guides us, leads us, oh Lord…
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Difficulties in Vocal exercises
Learning to sing is not easy. I’ve learnt for quite some time already. Due to busyness, I’ve many long breaks in between. Currently, I’m taking lesson with my teacher fortnightly. Though I’ve some improvements in my vocal so far, but it is still not good enough. I feel my progress is small. Although I know it can’t be rushed, but I’m quite anxious about my progress. Sometimes I can feel frustrated that I’m not progressing very well. In fact, I find it very difficult to master even the basic. For now, I’m still not controlling my vocal well. It is like very “messy” everywhere. How am I supposed to see myself sings well one day with this kind of progress now? I’m quite disappointed about my progress. Yet, I can’t blame anyone else. It is just very difficult to discipline myself to do vocal exercises daily. It is definitely not easy. To think you’ve many things to do, you’ve to leave house early in the morning & come home late. Sometime, you just feel too tired to do anything when you reach home. It is really a time that I need to fight with my flesh a lot. It is a lot of struggles. “Why am I not doing it?” “Why am I not able to do it?” Lots of, lots of questions go round inside my mind. How long more do I need to take to get the basic well? How long do I need to take? Oh….
“Learning the bad habits is so easy & fast! Learning the right habits is so difficult & slow!”
“Learning the bad habits is so easy & fast! Learning the right habits is so difficult & slow!”
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Looking For My Calling
[Above Picture was taken at the end of GDOP 2009]Without realizing it, I've been singing in the choir for 5yrs+ (2003 Yr End Audition, Serving 2004-Present) already. Years have passed, I've grown older. What should I do next? Am I going to just stay in the choir for another 5yrs? I guess not. Perhaps it's time for me to move on.
Firstly, I need to train up my vocal to sing "comfortably", using the right breathing, right placement, good projection & etc. Then, perhaps when the next BV (Backup Vocalist) Audition comes, I'll sign up for the last time. I feel that I won't want to try again after the past two times. Let's make this a last try. If I fail again, I just move on. I may leave choir & go on to pursue something that is really what I want to do. Of course, what God wants for me.
Some people asked me whether I had thought of becoming a choir IC or Helper. My answer to them was a "N-O-" No. It is not really about whether I like being one a not but, it is just not my calling. I don't see myself being one. & some asked me whether I thought of becoming a CGL. Hmmm.... I thought of it before. I had seen a vision on that years ago. But till now, I'm still not so sure whether I am going to be one. I found myself having many inefficiency in certain areas. & that itself is quite discouraging already. Thank God for the friends who actually spoke words of encouragement to me to be a CGL! That's sweet though... Dev, what you had shared, I thought of it before. Do I say "here I am, God send me" & everything will be done? I think it is really not easy. I want to stay by my CGL's side to learn something from her. There are some of things in me that I had lost & I want to get it back now! H.S., teach me, guide me please...
Hey, I don't mind being a Choir trainer! "Hire me, hire me!" hahaha.... :P
It is only people outside the situation will see things clearer. So, I'll be of great help, isn't it? :D
Whatever it is in the future, I'm looking forward to it! Life is so full of adventures & hopes!!!
-Enjoy life to the Max!-
"Ppl change, I want to change too! For the better! Cheers!"
-Nana
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Days After SOT 2007
SOT in 2007 was great! I've received much training, knowledge, visions & etc.
Yesterday, talking with one of my frenz was great. Brings back a lot of memory....
Great to know that we're doing well after the graduation.
Actually, SOT is a good training ground. REal challenge is outside. This is what I'm facing through now. I'm very challenged coz I haven't overcome my particular weakness.
Thank God that God is so great to let me know what it is. He gives me revelations, visions & encouragements... I love it man... God really really never will forsakes you! He never!
That's what I have experienced consistently! How can be fake?! It is real! So real in your eyes!
Thank God! I'll keep walking, walking & walking through the valleys to the mountains, through the valleys to the mountains.... mountains to mountains... :)
*I realize it is after the graduation, into the world, that I learnt even more. Bcoz this is the time when you're no longer sheltered but facing everything all 'alone'. Things learnt are to be used & apply onto life. A time when you are really challenged & moulded. Then, you'll sing "no longer I~ but Christ in me~" hahaha.... :P
Great to had been in SOT!!!! Greatly encouraged everyone else to go SOT! :) It is an experience that you'll never imagine!!! It is life changing period. A time when transition takes place b4 you go on to another level! *Experiences differ according to each individual! :)*
Yesterday, talking with one of my frenz was great. Brings back a lot of memory....
Great to know that we're doing well after the graduation.
Actually, SOT is a good training ground. REal challenge is outside. This is what I'm facing through now. I'm very challenged coz I haven't overcome my particular weakness.
Thank God that God is so great to let me know what it is. He gives me revelations, visions & encouragements... I love it man... God really really never will forsakes you! He never!
That's what I have experienced consistently! How can be fake?! It is real! So real in your eyes!
Thank God! I'll keep walking, walking & walking through the valleys to the mountains, through the valleys to the mountains.... mountains to mountains... :)
*I realize it is after the graduation, into the world, that I learnt even more. Bcoz this is the time when you're no longer sheltered but facing everything all 'alone'. Things learnt are to be used & apply onto life. A time when you are really challenged & moulded. Then, you'll sing "no longer I~ but Christ in me~" hahaha.... :P
Great to had been in SOT!!!! Greatly encouraged everyone else to go SOT! :) It is an experience that you'll never imagine!!! It is life changing period. A time when transition takes place b4 you go on to another level! *Experiences differ according to each individual! :)*
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Black Is The Color Now
The most suitable color for now is black.
It reflected a lot on the emotions & thoughts. Nothing can be hidden from it.
White is reflected very obviously among the black.
"So let your light shines among the darkness!"
Black can be depression or in a hopeless situation.
But, fear not! The white light shall penetrate through the darkness. There's always hope for life!
Wonderful!
Black is msterious & secretive. I like! Sometimes I don't like myself to be too transparent to others. I want to reserve some privacy for myself.
Others don't understand you, it is okay. The most important thing is you have to understand yourself & what you are doing, what you want to do.
All the best for whatever challenges that are in life!!! Cheers for all the warriors out there!
Never say die is the spirit!!! :)
Busy weekends this week...
Fri 29/05- Songs of Solomon Bible Seminar Part 1 (S.O.S.)
Sat 30/05- Mini Emerge (Svc 1 & 2)
Sun 31/05- Mini Emerge (Svc 3 & 4)
- Global Day Of Prayer (GDOP)
*Thank God I can sing for these events!!! :)
It reflected a lot on the emotions & thoughts. Nothing can be hidden from it.
White is reflected very obviously among the black.
"So let your light shines among the darkness!"
Black can be depression or in a hopeless situation.
But, fear not! The white light shall penetrate through the darkness. There's always hope for life!
Wonderful!
Black is msterious & secretive. I like! Sometimes I don't like myself to be too transparent to others. I want to reserve some privacy for myself.
Others don't understand you, it is okay. The most important thing is you have to understand yourself & what you are doing, what you want to do.
All the best for whatever challenges that are in life!!! Cheers for all the warriors out there!
Never say die is the spirit!!! :)
Busy weekends this week...
Fri 29/05- Songs of Solomon Bible Seminar Part 1 (S.O.S.)
Sat 30/05- Mini Emerge (Svc 1 & 2)
Sun 31/05- Mini Emerge (Svc 3 & 4)
- Global Day Of Prayer (GDOP)
*Thank God I can sing for these events!!! :)
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Got Refreshed Again!
It was tremedous service with Rev. Mike Connell. It makes me refreshed once again in the spirit. The kind of hunger & desire come all over again to me.
I thought I would stand one side & watch throughout the deliverance. I was wrong. Then, a sister from SOT fell infront of me. I realized I had to pray for her. I looked around. No one was there to attend to her. It was like as if God had put her there for me to pray for. This experience makes me realized I was wrong about letting others opportunity to pray for the people. I should find a need & meet a need. It is not about letting opportunity for the others but obeying God to serve with the gifts that God has put in us. I was wrong. That was such a wrong thinking in the beginning. Thank God for such an experience during the service! Thank God for letting me realized what I can do to serve. Thank God for reminding me that whatever that I had learnt & been trained of can be used even after graduation. It'll not be put to waste. We can make full use of what we were trained for. Amen.
What a great reminder for me! :) Thank God! :)
I thought I would stand one side & watch throughout the deliverance. I was wrong. Then, a sister from SOT fell infront of me. I realized I had to pray for her. I looked around. No one was there to attend to her. It was like as if God had put her there for me to pray for. This experience makes me realized I was wrong about letting others opportunity to pray for the people. I should find a need & meet a need. It is not about letting opportunity for the others but obeying God to serve with the gifts that God has put in us. I was wrong. That was such a wrong thinking in the beginning. Thank God for such an experience during the service! Thank God for letting me realized what I can do to serve. Thank God for reminding me that whatever that I had learnt & been trained of can be used even after graduation. It'll not be put to waste. We can make full use of what we were trained for. Amen.
What a great reminder for me! :) Thank God! :)
Friday, May 15, 2009
Tiredness...
I kept feeling there're many things not done yet. Things are keep piling up or seems to be forever can't finish... I'm feeling tired. School is going to start soon in July. I can't feel this way now. Then, what about when school starts? Even more tired or just faint??
I'm feeling stress in my vocal training already. I wonder why I keep on can't do the warm up & exercises well... It is difficult. I keep trying. The voice will become tired. Then, I can't sing but to rest. It's hard to figure it out on my own. I need to put more effort without hurting my vocal chord.
My room is in a mess for months already. It is just like my mind! Whatever condition my room is, it seems to reflect on what is the condition in my mind! haha... Please, no one sees my room! I can't stand it already! But, if I am to tidy up everything, I've a certain standard to do it. I think... I need to give away or throw some of my clothes. My wardrobe is like very outdated already. I'm very sick of it already! I'm just so restricted my money! God, is there a way out?
Every month, same finances planning, same account I'm doing, same limitation... Sigh... :(
All these I still have to continue, I need to sacrifice a lot of things to study for my degree... I want to dance! I want to write, read... I want to continue learning my Japanese! I want to learn more languages like Indonesia Bahasa, dialects... I want..... so many more! Ah~
I just have to bear with it. No time left. No longer young. Some of the things, as I grow older, I feel I've no more energy to do already. Even if I've the heart to do, I can't do it... Very complicated feeling inside of me. :(
God, I lift up everything in your hands! God, bless these small sacrifices...
*Thank God, my favourite dancer confirmed me in facebook!!!! Yea!!!! :)
I'm feeling stress in my vocal training already. I wonder why I keep on can't do the warm up & exercises well... It is difficult. I keep trying. The voice will become tired. Then, I can't sing but to rest. It's hard to figure it out on my own. I need to put more effort without hurting my vocal chord.
My room is in a mess for months already. It is just like my mind! Whatever condition my room is, it seems to reflect on what is the condition in my mind! haha... Please, no one sees my room! I can't stand it already! But, if I am to tidy up everything, I've a certain standard to do it. I think... I need to give away or throw some of my clothes. My wardrobe is like very outdated already. I'm very sick of it already! I'm just so restricted my money! God, is there a way out?
Every month, same finances planning, same account I'm doing, same limitation... Sigh... :(
All these I still have to continue, I need to sacrifice a lot of things to study for my degree... I want to dance! I want to write, read... I want to continue learning my Japanese! I want to learn more languages like Indonesia Bahasa, dialects... I want..... so many more! Ah~
I just have to bear with it. No time left. No longer young. Some of the things, as I grow older, I feel I've no more energy to do already. Even if I've the heart to do, I can't do it... Very complicated feeling inside of me. :(
God, I lift up everything in your hands! God, bless these small sacrifices...
*Thank God, my favourite dancer confirmed me in facebook!!!! Yea!!!! :)
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Let God Arise -Chris Tomlin
Hi, this is the song that always mistaken to be the Benny Hinn's "Let God Arise". haha....
I always forget the melody of this song. Thank God for 'youtube'!!!! hahaa... :)
The way how he sings sound so fun! Have a feeling of enjoyment!!! Can I bring out that kind of feel? Frenz, be bold in your praises! Come on, man! haha.... :) Everyone can be free in praises!!!!
I always forget the melody of this song. Thank God for 'youtube'!!!! hahaa... :)
The way how he sings sound so fun! Have a feeling of enjoyment!!! Can I bring out that kind of feel? Frenz, be bold in your praises! Come on, man! haha.... :) Everyone can be free in praises!!!!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Creative Hobby-Photography
Are you just like me who always admire the photos of the artistes?
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Why are they so beautiful? How the photographer got the best angles of the artistes? How did the artistes or the photographer know what poses to do? I'm really wondering...
I wish I can have photos like those too! I want my beauty to be captured at the best moments, so that when I grow old, I can look at the pictures & think back. How nice it is...
Up to today, have you taken any nice close up shot on yourself?
I start to like photography, but may be not very into it. I just feel that it is interesting. I want to explore on how to take the best shots of people, events, objects & etc. That's why I am always seem to be taking photos all the time wherever I go (once I've got the feel or found a good shot). I may not have professional skills or camera, but I believe using even the simplest camera, can take good shots too! Of course, it'll not be as good as the professional camera. Still, it is fine with me. I'm just doing for fun, as a hobby. :)
*One of my proud photos taken by me is the header photo above (in this blog) -the Frangi pani (flower). This was taken near my house while on the way home. :)
Here are some of the nice photos:
Lee Hom
Taiwan
BoA Kwon
Korea
Latest US Album's front cover
BoA Kwon
Taken @ her MV "永远"
Sun Ho
Singapore
One of her latest photo shot @HK
Utada Hikaru
Japan
"This pic is taken very naturally. I like it very much!"
.JPG)
Christina Adalia Lim
Singapore
Taken for Modelling Agency's Portfolio -Wedding Gown
BoA Kwon
Korea
Taken while she is dancing.
"This is the 'Moment' I am talking about!"
BoA Kwon
Korea
"Back to the Nature"
-Looks comfortable-
.JPG)
Christina Adalia Lim
Singapore
Taken for Modelling Agency's Portfolio -Casual Look
Christina Adalia Lim
Singapore
Taken for Modelling Agency's Portfolio -Wedding Gown
"One of my fav. shot."
Thursday, May 7, 2009
My Green kawaii Froggy
MY KAWAII FROG
I BOUGHT IT JUST LAST WEEK FROM DAISO.
JUST TWO BUCKS!
HAHA...
HIS RESPONSIBILITY:
TO SMILE @ ME EVERYDAY!
ITS PURPOSE IT'S CREATED.
TOP VIEW
BACK VIEW
FRONT VIEW
FROGGY SAYING HI TO EVERYONE!
Friday, May 1, 2009
Watching "Britney-for the record"
I like this quote very much!-
Britney's dance chereographer:
I want her to have the happiest moment in her dance...
I really like it very much! Because it reveals a lot on a dancer's desire & feeling. Perhaps it also tells of how much stress & pressure an artiste has to go through with not much of a personal life. Dance can be one of the few channels where the artiste can really express himself or herself. A channel for releasing self or stress. I can agree on this as I always danced last time whenever I was feeling very stressed up, upset, angry & etc... That is a very good channel indeed but it is not a permanent solution, but just for the moment.
I remembered I once danced in the dark, facing the wall with my shadows before. It reflected a lot of my emotions onto the shadow... The shadow is like the 2nd me. Imagine that the shadow is actually moving differently from you. It is that kind of feeling. Shadow speaks! It speaks to me! hahaha..... (Don't feel eerie here...)
There're just so many parts of me that even I don't know. I feel I am always exploring myself! haha... I'm always exciting, filled with lots of adventures! Yeah! Enjoy life...
What I feel about this interview on TV "Britney-for the record"?
A lot! It talk about so much, so much of Britney's thoughts & inner side of her, the story behind the screen. I feel sort of encouraged by her sharing. She is strong outward but yet, actually weak in the inside. What she wants is actually very simple but unfortunately, her ex-husband couldn't give her, she don't get it... It's a life of moulding for her... Difficult but yet, still blessed with the two kids she has.
"Britney, Press On!"
"Stay strong, moving forward & never look back!"
-Christina Adalia
Britney's dance chereographer:
I want her to have the happiest moment in her dance...
I really like it very much! Because it reveals a lot on a dancer's desire & feeling. Perhaps it also tells of how much stress & pressure an artiste has to go through with not much of a personal life. Dance can be one of the few channels where the artiste can really express himself or herself. A channel for releasing self or stress. I can agree on this as I always danced last time whenever I was feeling very stressed up, upset, angry & etc... That is a very good channel indeed but it is not a permanent solution, but just for the moment.
I remembered I once danced in the dark, facing the wall with my shadows before. It reflected a lot of my emotions onto the shadow... The shadow is like the 2nd me. Imagine that the shadow is actually moving differently from you. It is that kind of feeling. Shadow speaks! It speaks to me! hahaha..... (Don't feel eerie here...)
There're just so many parts of me that even I don't know. I feel I am always exploring myself! haha... I'm always exciting, filled with lots of adventures! Yeah! Enjoy life...
What I feel about this interview on TV "Britney-for the record"?
A lot! It talk about so much, so much of Britney's thoughts & inner side of her, the story behind the screen. I feel sort of encouraged by her sharing. She is strong outward but yet, actually weak in the inside. What she wants is actually very simple but unfortunately, her ex-husband couldn't give her, she don't get it... It's a life of moulding for her... Difficult but yet, still blessed with the two kids she has.
"Britney, Press On!"
"Stay strong, moving forward & never look back!"
-Christina Adalia
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Funny Thing @Renault's BBQ!
Dressing Up the Renault Model
How can they dress up the model like this!!!! Super sensored & RA rated!!!! So funny!
There're many other parts of this video but too RA rated already! Hahaha.... Can't help it but to laugh loudly as I watch the video! Hahaha.... Real fun @ the BBQ company's gathering! Fun gathering & connecting to colleagues & bosses! No word can describe the feeling @ the BBQ.
I realize sometimes it can be more fun to be early at the meeting place or even involved in the preparation! You don't need to be rewarded but you will still enjoy the process! hahaha.... :P
How can they dress up the model like this!!!! Super sensored & RA rated!!!! So funny!
There're many other parts of this video but too RA rated already! Hahaha.... Can't help it but to laugh loudly as I watch the video! Hahaha.... Real fun @ the BBQ company's gathering! Fun gathering & connecting to colleagues & bosses! No word can describe the feeling @ the BBQ.
I realize sometimes it can be more fun to be early at the meeting place or even involved in the preparation! You don't need to be rewarded but you will still enjoy the process! hahaha.... :P
Friday, April 24, 2009
New Haircut
Just have a hair cut.I have my hair cut shorter to shoulder length with some trims.
My fringe cut layered slant.
I love it! So neat now! :)
I can use my hairstyler to curl my hair to make more layers or straighten my hair...
All kind of things I can do with my hair.
I want to grow my hair long. Don't wanna cut short for the moment.
Let's see how long my hair can get until...
hahaha.... :)
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
The Experience Being Christ
Listen to his experience acting as Jesus in "The Passion of the Chirst".
It is a different view looking at Christ. I can't believe Christ had to go through all these just for us!
It is a different view looking at Christ. I can't believe Christ had to go through all these just for us!
Monday, April 20, 2009
Chris Tomlin's "Lifted Me Up"
To my beloved CG guitarists:
Guys, "Lifted Me Up" is this song! Sigh... I thought you guys will know. Nvm...
May be we'll try it one day...
Guys, "Lifted Me Up" is this song! Sigh... I thought you guys will know. Nvm...
May be we'll try it one day...
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Zone Outreach Next Sun's Guest Appearance
Hi all, this is a glimpse of 大风吹 during the final of Project Superband! In case, you guys don't know who they are.
They will be having a guest appearance in our Zone Outreach next Sun in Jurong West St 91, L4!
What a priviledge!!! :) Guys, look forward to it! Bring along all your friends! :)
非常SuperBand, 大风吹-伯乐
大风吹-第一个清晨
They will be having a guest appearance in our Zone Outreach next Sun in Jurong West St 91, L4!
What a priviledge!!! :) Guys, look forward to it! Bring along all your friends! :)
非常SuperBand, 大风吹-伯乐
大风吹-第一个清晨
Something Great is Going to Happen!
I'm expecting some changes very soon. No matter it is spiritually or personal growth. I'm looking forward to it!
There are many things in my mind right now. Many plannings... Give me another 6 months, I believe I will be able to see some results. This time, I must succeed! No time to loose...
I was watching "射雕英雄传". & there was this scene that really inspires me a lot. Even to death, we fight till the end! So, I must have the 13 soldiers' spirit. They are so royal to the prince that they fight to their death, just to protect him. I was so amazed by that! That's the spirit, man!!! Whatever you want to do, you must press on to the last, fight to the last!
Remember:
"Nothing is impossible!"
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!"
"Not by might, nor by power, but by the spirit of God!"
*Therefore, let's be full of expectations for the coming changes!!!
There are many things in my mind right now. Many plannings... Give me another 6 months, I believe I will be able to see some results. This time, I must succeed! No time to loose...
I was watching "射雕英雄传". & there was this scene that really inspires me a lot. Even to death, we fight till the end! So, I must have the 13 soldiers' spirit. They are so royal to the prince that they fight to their death, just to protect him. I was so amazed by that! That's the spirit, man!!! Whatever you want to do, you must press on to the last, fight to the last!
Remember:
"Nothing is impossible!"
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!"
"Not by might, nor by power, but by the spirit of God!"
*Therefore, let's be full of expectations for the coming changes!!!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Daily Routine
I just finished checking my email, MSN my friend, facebooking, twitting... This is like a daily routine if possible. It seems boring but, actually it is quite interesting!
- Checking email
Finding out what others have sent to me. Checking out what updates there is. Checking if Miho has sent me an email or replied me. Clearing email...
- MSN
Fun! Talking to friend through MSN is fun! I always enjoy connecting with my dear friends! I want to be stay connected.
- Facebooking
Interesting... Browse updates of my friends, read comment, messgaes, do quizes, play games, earn "money" & etc....
- Twitting
On Twitter, updates all my friends about me & my life... Now, living in this busy world, it is so difficult to meet up with all my friends... This twitting thingy is really of a great help! :)
So amazed of the high tech generation now! Everything is ONLINE now! Wow wow wow! :)
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Facing Myself Truthfully
“I am actually a loner… I am just all alone!”
Despite the fact that I may not look like, I am actually very lonely. I am afraid of being lonely because I had it too much already. That’s why I am easily an attention seeker. Even till now, I think I am still seeking for attention, may be not as much as in the past. In my heart, there’s this corner which is very lonely & insecure. I am always longing for someone to fill it in. But, no one comes. My family, my close friends… I feel very sad, rejected, disappointed easily when I start to think that I have hope in someone who can fill up that corner. I feel I really can’t help it but to think too much of a certain things. I really want to stop all this. I am very tired. My heart is tired. I wait & wait, & nothing happens. I am thinking why I can’t be just all alone instead of having hope in others that gives disappointments only. I can do all things alone. It is freer this way. Perhaps, I was being neglected too often since young that I am feeling this way now. I believe I felt I am very insignificant in the past. That’s what caused the low self-esteem in me. God can come in & fill it but, not just that. I need to do something about it to overcome. What do I need to do?
“Please, please, if you can, please love me more! Don’t let me go! Never leave me behind alone! Please don’t!!!!!”
Despite the fact that I may not look like, I am actually very lonely. I am afraid of being lonely because I had it too much already. That’s why I am easily an attention seeker. Even till now, I think I am still seeking for attention, may be not as much as in the past. In my heart, there’s this corner which is very lonely & insecure. I am always longing for someone to fill it in. But, no one comes. My family, my close friends… I feel very sad, rejected, disappointed easily when I start to think that I have hope in someone who can fill up that corner. I feel I really can’t help it but to think too much of a certain things. I really want to stop all this. I am very tired. My heart is tired. I wait & wait, & nothing happens. I am thinking why I can’t be just all alone instead of having hope in others that gives disappointments only. I can do all things alone. It is freer this way. Perhaps, I was being neglected too often since young that I am feeling this way now. I believe I felt I am very insignificant in the past. That’s what caused the low self-esteem in me. God can come in & fill it but, not just that. I need to do something about it to overcome. What do I need to do?
“Please, please, if you can, please love me more! Don’t let me go! Never leave me behind alone! Please don’t!!!!!”
I used to be a very low self-esteem girl. I often stayed late at my friend's house & never want to go home early. When I received my PSLE results, it was not good. I was afraid I would be scolded by my mum. I was disappointed with myself. I thought I could get more than 200 aggregate marks which was also a target my form teacher that time had set. I felt I had let my teacher down. I felt I really didn't want to go home & faced all the things. I hid myself in my best friend's house & played. My mum searched high & low for me. She called all my friends.
Finally, when I reached home, she kept asking me for my results. I didn't want to share it with her. I thought I could trust my second sister. So, I told her. But, she ended up telling my mum about it. I guessed she couldn't stand her pressing in that time. I couldn't blame her. But, she had lost my trust for her. Eventually, I became very lonely. I felt I couldn't trust anyone at home. There was no one to talk to either. I felt very trapped. I felt very hurt & sad. I couldn't believe a home could be like that.
Through my second sister, I started writing the diary. I wrote all my feelings & thoughts in there. I even drew some pictures inside. (Remember I was still a primary school student.) That was a channel for me to frustrate out my feelings blotted inside.
When I was in secondary school, matters worsen. I realized friends couldn't help me, writing diary couldn't help me. I became very short tempered. I couldn't stand a bit of my mum's nag. I couldn't stand a bit of my elder sis always so fierce to me, always saying all kinds of hurting & discouraging words. I couldn't stand my mum being controlling. I couldn't stand my elder sis being controlling unreasonably. I couldn't stand anything! I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to handle all those emotions I had. I got into depression.
I couldn't handle anything. I didn't understand why even small matters, I could be scolded. It seemed like everything I did I would be scolded. Nothing I did was right. To them, I was just a wrong wrong wrong! My sis shouted at me. My mum scolded & nagged at me. There were many times I slammed the door behind me to try to avoid them. I put my hands on my ears to try not to listen to the noises. I banged my head to the wall, trying to release the pain in my heart. I tried all things but they all didn't work! I cried, & I cried, & I cried non-stop. & they just didn't care. Sometimes, my elder sis even shouted outside the room to ask me to stop crying. I mean I was so sad, so hurt. That was the only way I could do at that time to release my feelings out. She asked me to stop?? Was she crazy?! I even had to cried into my pillow because of her.
There were times I stood in front of the small balcony where we hang our clothes. I was thinking if life was like that, so meaningless, why should I be still living in this world. I thought of jumping down from that 12 storey(my house). In the end, due to lack of boldness, I didn't do it.
At that time, I felt I was not loved by my family at all. Every one of them ignored me. Not one, had given me the attention that I had needed. All I had received was just rejections & hurting words. There was lots of struggles in me. I thought ending my life will end all these things. I thought.
Then, I thought I should live stronger to show them, without them, I could still be better! With this, I lived on. Although the same things continued again & again, but at least I still lived on. It could be also because I had dreams unfulfilled yet.
Years later...
I was in poly yr 1. The school just started. I met a friend coincidently consistently for one week at the bus interchange when I was on the way to school. She encouraged me to go to church. (That time I wore a cross quite often which caught her attention.) I was encouraged & I called my another friend that night as my friend(who encouraged me) is a Catholic. & that weekends, I attended church & received salvation at the altar call held by Pst Tan.
I didn't know why. I felt extremely relieved & safe at that time. I felt very refreshed & felt hope in my life. That night, I slept very peacefully first time in my life! I never had that feeling before! From that day onwards, I went to church week after week, week after week. & it continued till today, I am still attending church. I was even graduated from SOT in 2007! Oh my! Thank God for all that!
If without God, I can't be who I am today. I may even not be writing this story at all. My life now has become fruitful. I know what I want to do & I am pursuing it. I see my dreams fulfilled one by one every year. I am simply very happy. I am no longer that low-self esteem, but a more confident woman now. I am even more optimistic than ever. I even have the ability to encourage & help other people who is in need!
Most importantly, my depression is gone! Ever since I had attended church, my mindset has changed. I become more & more positive in life. I am gladful for all the beloved CG members who were with me during my difficult times, even though they may not know what important role they had played in my life at that time. I felt love from the CG & became more open to people. I learnt how to express myself better. I even become more & more sociable with people! That is so amazing! I can't imagine that I can do that! I was so introvert last time! My smile has become more. It is more natural. I do not need to fake it at all.
After knowing God, I started to believe that surely nothing is impossible. I took my O'level English again that year, & I scored B3 from a D7!!!! Because of that belief, & I pressed on & I had made a miracle for myself! I also thank God for all my CG members who had prayed for me & given me the support.
I tell you. I can't live without God! Without Him, I won't know how interesting & fun life is! Without Him, I won't find release & peace! Without Him, I won't be who I am today! Without Him, life has never be the same! I thank God I am still living! Thank God for saving me! Thank God for given me a new life despite my incompleteness & imperfectness! All glory to God! :)
Monday, April 13, 2009
Questions, Tell Me What It Means About It~
I realized what I say is not being understood more & more. Sometimes I am thinking whether I’m with the right group of people. There are times that I want to deliver a certain message but come back being misunderstood. What is not right in there? Is it time that I should move on? I’ve been hearing the same thing being repeated to me many times recently. They are all from the leaders around me. That also reflects back to the vision that I had received years back. But, am I really able to do it? God, why will use someone like me who is just nothing but simple, & quite weak at times? I’m always shouting for help from you for everything. God, I really can do it this time? Like what my choir friend had said, if I don’t grab it now, the opportunity will just slip off. Just grab it? How?
I really need to go back to my source & start praying seriously about this. God, please show me your sign…
During these few days, many questions have been going through my mind. Questions like:
1. Why do all the girls attracted to one particular rose?
A. It is beautiful. B. She really likes it. C. Other girls like it too.
Which category will you fall under? I ask myself this question & I’m still wondering which category I fall under…
2. You walk toward this particular rose. You almost reaching it but then you realize there is a board in front of it, written: “This is belonged to Sue.” The feeling of disappointment immediately filled your whole heart. Your heart sank. You thought you can get this rose but yet it is someone else’s.
In your heart, there’re two options:
A. To snatch the rose. B. To hide the rose. C. Just forget about the rose.
Which category will you fall under? I think I’ll walk away sadly & tell myself to forget about it. My choice is C.
The reason why I chose C is because I never like to fight with other people for a thing, I don’t like to share with other people something I really call it precious & important & I believe I shouldn’t always be the one making the decision. I have to ask the rose who it wants to follow. This is the answer from my heart. Perhaps I cherish friendship more.
*If you understand what I mean about the two questions, please keep it to yourself. They’re parables that I’ve written so that not everyone will understand but only the ones who is really close to me do. :)
I really need to go back to my source & start praying seriously about this. God, please show me your sign…
During these few days, many questions have been going through my mind. Questions like:
1. Why do all the girls attracted to one particular rose?
A. It is beautiful. B. She really likes it. C. Other girls like it too.
Which category will you fall under? I ask myself this question & I’m still wondering which category I fall under…
2. You walk toward this particular rose. You almost reaching it but then you realize there is a board in front of it, written: “This is belonged to Sue.” The feeling of disappointment immediately filled your whole heart. Your heart sank. You thought you can get this rose but yet it is someone else’s.
In your heart, there’re two options:
A. To snatch the rose. B. To hide the rose. C. Just forget about the rose.
Which category will you fall under? I think I’ll walk away sadly & tell myself to forget about it. My choice is C.
The reason why I chose C is because I never like to fight with other people for a thing, I don’t like to share with other people something I really call it precious & important & I believe I shouldn’t always be the one making the decision. I have to ask the rose who it wants to follow. This is the answer from my heart. Perhaps I cherish friendship more.
*If you understand what I mean about the two questions, please keep it to yourself. They’re parables that I’ve written so that not everyone will understand but only the ones who is really close to me do. :)
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Handsome Suit -Japan Movie
What about watching this? Recently, there are really many interesting movies coming up!
Jackie Chan's Shinjuku Incident Trailer
Jackie Chan Shinjuku Incident Trailer 2009 High Quality
I'm thinking of watching this movie... Should I?
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Busy, busy...
I have been busy with many things. There's still many things waiting for me to do. I have been very tired. How I wish my strength & capacity can expand. How I wish I can excel in times of busyness & time not enough... I'm expanding myself, preparing myself for something more & bigger ahead. When school starts, I wonder what will it be like. I must enjoy my every moment now before I will be too occupied with things. I must enjoy this every moment! :) :) Yeah...
I'm imperfect. I have many shortcomings & weaknesses... I want to change! Change, change, change... I don't want to be a perfect woman. I want to be a woman always following God's heart, always desire to change to be better! :)
I'm imperfect. I have many shortcomings & weaknesses... I want to change! Change, change, change... I don't want to be a perfect woman. I want to be a woman always following God's heart, always desire to change to be better! :)
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Day Dreaming
I have been day dreaming. Day dreaming about things that have not happen or may not happen or will not happen. I have a "dream" but it is just a dream right now. I don't know whether it'll happen. I don't know what the people involved feel about it. I don't know what I should do or react to it. Sometimes, I just want to hide. But, does hiding helps? I don't want to avoid. But, what about the other party? May be it is just not meant to be. Perhaps, it is better to stay in this way. At least, the "dream" is not shattered. It seems like there's still hope. Is this self-denial?
I day dream a lot. Is that a source of my creativity? Will that be a source? My ideas often comes from all these day dreaming stories. Though they may not be real, but they're definitely great inspirations to my creations. I wonder when can I make a good packaging of all of my "day dreams". Ha ha... I wonder who will share the same "hobby" as me. I doubt many people can understand what I'm saying here. haha... That's not important. Most importantly is I don't stop creating... I can create!!! Thank God for creativity! :)
I day dream a lot. Is that a source of my creativity? Will that be a source? My ideas often comes from all these day dreaming stories. Though they may not be real, but they're definitely great inspirations to my creations. I wonder when can I make a good packaging of all of my "day dreams". Ha ha... I wonder who will share the same "hobby" as me. I doubt many people can understand what I'm saying here. haha... That's not important. Most importantly is I don't stop creating... I can create!!! Thank God for creativity! :)
End of the Day before Knock off...
31st March 2009
It's end of the day. A time that I've been waiting for!
This is Christina in the office...
Oops! Without makeup...
I've finished my work for the day! What should I do now?
Hmmm... Take photos!!! hahaha..... :p
Or.............................
I go facebook, just like anyone else... hahaha... :P
Earn money, earn money... Hee hee hee....
Or....... see other ppl's facebook....
finding out what my friends are doing recently.........
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Love Letter???
An Inspiration for my song writing...
What do you think? I created it out myself.
A Love Letter that I've written:
You know that I always love dancing. You know that. I’m sure you know that. Don’t avoid. This is important. I’m sure you understand, just like you like music. You treat music as your life, above everything else. Even when you choose your partner, you expect her to be musically inclined, to flow with you in the area of music. You want her to have the same kind of passion as you. Do you know that it is very difficult to find someone like this? It’s very difficult. No one can be as perfect as this or as you think.
I won’t try to be someone you like. I’ll just be myself. You like it or you don’t. This is me. Everyone is uniquely created for a purpose, not for you. I’m sorry to say that. But, you just have to know that. Still, I just want to tell you that I love you no matter what. Just don’t try too hard to change me like that. Love you… & I always do…
**The first edition of this song 喜欢你 is posted up in my music blog:
http://www.adaliaballad.blogspot.com/
Tuesday 31st March 2009 Post
>>Hopefully, it'll be completed one day with the melody & recording, so that my friends can listen. Looking forward to it... :)
What do you think? I created it out myself.
A Love Letter that I've written:
You know that I always love dancing. You know that. I’m sure you know that. Don’t avoid. This is important. I’m sure you understand, just like you like music. You treat music as your life, above everything else. Even when you choose your partner, you expect her to be musically inclined, to flow with you in the area of music. You want her to have the same kind of passion as you. Do you know that it is very difficult to find someone like this? It’s very difficult. No one can be as perfect as this or as you think.
I won’t try to be someone you like. I’ll just be myself. You like it or you don’t. This is me. Everyone is uniquely created for a purpose, not for you. I’m sorry to say that. But, you just have to know that. Still, I just want to tell you that I love you no matter what. Just don’t try too hard to change me like that. Love you… & I always do…
**The first edition of this song 喜欢你 is posted up in my music blog:
http://www.adaliaballad.blogspot.com/
Tuesday 31st March 2009 Post
>>Hopefully, it'll be completed one day with the melody & recording, so that my friends can listen. Looking forward to it... :)
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
My Baby Nephew -Latest!!!
Oh he is just so cute!!!! So chubby!!!! Can't stand it!
My 2nd time carrying him...
Baby Chua was smiling at his mum!
Oh my! He just dosed off before he finished the last drop of the milk...
He sleeps a lot huh...
He sleeps a lot huh...
Baby Chua was looking at "Xiao Yi" (me) & posing for me as I took his photo!
Amazing Cute Little Baby!!!
He's definitely very adorable!
Amazing Cute Little Baby!!!
He's definitely very adorable!
Yamaka Wa Super -Tibits
@Yamaka Wa Super
These are what I had bought yesterday before the "Sleek" meeting.
For people who know me, they will know that I'm always into Japanese stuffs.
I just love it man! Their goodies are so interesting.
If I can, I may buy one basket of tibits home. But I can't, so only these two. Haha...
[Japanese stuffs are not cheap...]
Let me introduce to you...
(picture below)
"KOTOBUKI" AZUKI DORAYAKI
I was attracted to this because it looks like the "tong luo shao"
-fav. snack of Doraemon.
Hahaha.... :)
Moreover, it's red bean... I think I'll like the taste of it.
Next
"MEIJI" HOKKAIDO POTATO CHEESE & SALT
"MEIJI" HOKKAIDO POTATO CHEESE & SALT
Why I buy this?
Hahaha.... I was simply just attracted by the package.
Don't you think the picture look nice?
It seems like it is very nice to eat.
Hahahaha....... :)
& I like potato chips or potato!
Hmmm...... Yummy!!!
Don't bear to eat it yet... I'll bear with it first. :p
Sunday, March 22, 2009
舞林大道 冠軍總決賽 Maniac@最後戰役
This is the dance which give me very deep impression of Maniac. They are realy girl power! Very fantastic! They're really good!!!! I can't imagine girls can dance like they do! Normally, girls find difficulty in freeing themselves out very much in the dance, especially hip hop...
舞林大道 - Gino+Maniac-
Oh man! They rock! They are really hot! I can't stand it already...
I really admire Maniac to be able to dance with such great force & so free out! How I wish I can dance like them... I never able to dance hiphop well & free out yet. Quite stuck to my past dance style - Modern dance. I wish to try more different dances. Like Hiphop, Reggae...etc. I like street jazz very much. I enjoyed dancing that! It is a mixture of jazz & hiphop... Quite near to my style.
God, when can I dance again! I want to dance like Maniac!
Romeo & Juliet
Yeah yeah! I found the song Kissing You by Des'ree in the OST of "Romeo & Juliet"!
[Listen to Track 1 of my playlist.]
Till now, I still like this story by William Shakespeare. Especially the movie played by Leonardo Dicaprio & Claire Danes in 1996. Have you watched this movie?
Friday, March 20, 2009
让一切从新开始
一切的后悔，不如意，不开心，失望于难过。。。
我们统统都把它们给抛开掉！
Let's forget about everything & start anew!
If we're unable to let go of the past, we can't move forward or have more new ideas!
If we didn't make it last time, lets believe we can do it this time!
Always be positive about things, not negative.
Negativitism will only hold you back & obstruct your way!
That' s the devil's plan! Don't fall into it!
If you can't see your path, use a touchlight to shine.
If you feel doubt, try to look forward what is ahead waiting for you.
Everything is gonna be alright. No trial & tribulation in this world can last for a long time.
There's no need to worry!
Let's do our best in our everything! Success is in our hands!
"Break the wall of limitations & obstructions!"
Nothing should be able to stop you for what you want to do as you think it in your mind!
我们统统都把它们给抛开掉！
Let's forget about everything & start anew!
If we're unable to let go of the past, we can't move forward or have more new ideas!
If we didn't make it last time, lets believe we can do it this time!
Always be positive about things, not negative.
Negativitism will only hold you back & obstruct your way!
That' s the devil's plan! Don't fall into it!
If you can't see your path, use a touchlight to shine.
If you feel doubt, try to look forward what is ahead waiting for you.
Everything is gonna be alright. No trial & tribulation in this world can last for a long time.
There's no need to worry!
Let's do our best in our everything! Success is in our hands!
"Break the wall of limitations & obstructions!"
Nothing should be able to stop you for what you want to do as you think it in your mind!
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